In the realm of lucidity

REPOST: My usual holiday greeting...

2011-12-20T09:57:00.000-05:00

Just because this is worth a read once a year. I'll stop posting it when it is no longer socially relevant. Bah humbug... ;)

Happy Holidays!

Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all; Additionally, A fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great, (not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country or is the only "AMERICA" in the western hemisphere), and without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith, choice of computer platform, or sexual preference of the wisher.

(Disclaimer: By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms: This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her/him or others, and is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year, or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher who assumes no responsibility for any unintended emotional stress these greetings may bring to those not caught up in the holiday spirit.)

Creamy Adobo Chicken Soup

2011-01-30T23:28:00.003-05:00

Just a touch of cream makes this a luscious meal with bread and a salad.

About 8 servings.

2 T. canola oil
3 1/2 lbs. chicken pieces (or one whole chicken quartered)
2 yellow onions, diced
1 red bell pepper, diced
1 green bell pepper, diced
2 jalapeno peppers, seeded and finely diced, or to taste
6 cloves of garlic, chopped
2 plum tomatoes, diced and seeded
2 C Hominy (canned)
3-4 chipotle peppers in adobo sauce (use approximately 2 T of sauce), finely minced, or to taste
2 C. corn kernels
2 t. chili powder
1 t. ground cumin
1 t. dried oregano
1 t. dried thyme
1 t. smoked paprika
1 t. Cayenne pepper, (or more to taste)
Salt, to taste
Freshly ground pepper, to taste
6 C. chicken broth or water
¾ C Cream (heavy or table)

Remove 3-4 chiles and 2 tablespoons of adobo sauce from can; reserve remaining chiles and sauce for another use. Finely chop chile; set chile and sauce aside separately.

Heat oil over medium heat in a heavy-bottomed pot or dutch oven; brown the chicken pieces in batches. Add onions, garlic and the red, green and jalapenos peppers and replace all chicken pieces in the pot; sauté until vegetables are soft and begin to brown, about 10 minutes.

Add tomatoes, chipotle peppers, chili powder, cumin, oregano, cayenne, paprika, Stir to combine, then add chicken broth or water.

Bring to a boil, then reduce heat to maintain a gentle simmer; cook for approximately 30 minutes more or until the chicken is cooked through. Remove from heat.

Remove chicken from pot, pull meat from the bones and shred; return shredded chicken meat to the pot, discarding skin and bones.

(Soup can be cooled and refrigerated at this point. Excess fat will congeal on top and can be removed before reheating.)

Add canned hominy and corn and return to a simmer for 5 – 10 minutes. (Note you can also add a can of yellow potatoes if you want this to be more “chowder” like). Add salt and pepper to taste.

Add cream (this can be omitted if you want a lower calorie count) and allow to warm for 5 additional minutes.

Serve with crusty bread.

Spicy and Smoky Black Bean Soup

2011-01-30T23:08:00.005-05:00

Quick and easy. This spicy soup will warm you up on a cold night. It can be served as a starter or combined with bread and a salad for a complete meal.

SERVES 8-10

6 slices bacon, chopped

2 medium onions, chopped

2 large carrots, chopped

6 cloves garlic, chopped

2 ½ tsp cumin

2 tsp smoked paprika

1 dash cayenne pepper (to taste)

1 can (6 ounces) tomato paste

5 cans (15 ounces each) black beans, drained

1 quart (32 ounces) Beef Stock

2-3 dashes Liquid Smoke (optional)

1 can (6 ounces) chipotle chilies in ancho sauce

3 beef bouillon cubes (or 3 teaspoons of Better than Bouillon paste)

4 fresh jalapeños, seeded and chopped

1 bunch fresh cilantro, chopped (set aside ¼ cup)

2 bunch green onions, chopped (set aside ¼ cup of green parts)

- - - - - - - - - - -

For garnish:

Sour cream

Chopped fresh cilantro

Chopped green onions

In a large sauce pan (or Dutch oven), over medium heat, fry bacon until browned and crispy. Remove with slotted spoon and set aside. Drain all but 2 tablespoons of fat from the pan. Add onion and carrots and sauté until tender, about 5 minutes. Add garlic and cumin and sauté for 2 minutes longer.

Combine tomato paste, black beans, broth, bouillon cubes, smoked paprika, cayenne, liquid smoke, and chipotle peppers (with sauce) in pan and bring to a boil, stirring occasionally, reduce heat, and simmer for 15 minutes. Add cilantro, jalapeños, and green onions. Simmer for 5 minutes more. Remove from heat.

Transfer to a food processor (or use an immersion blender) and process in batches until smooth. Reheat.

Garnish each serving with sour cream, cilantro, green onions, and reserved bacon.

MAKE AHEAD

Can be prepared and refrigerated for up to 2 days ahead. Let cool, cover and refrigerate. Bring to a simmer over medium heat before garnishing, thinning with additional stock, if necessary.

The Drifters - White Christmas (FLASH)

2010-12-22T13:11:00.001-05:00

Song by The Drifters as sung by Bill Pinkney and used in the movie Home Alone. I get a lot of traffic from folks searching for this video. Enjoy...

http://www.mesasoftware.com/images/merryxmas.swf

You can also listen to this and watch another video of the same song on The Original Drifters Website.

Dinner at minibar by josé andrés - a photo tour

2010-12-14T00:00:00.001-05:00

I finally had an opportunity to have the “dining experience” that is minibar by josé andrés. I would highly recommend the excursion if you enjoy unique dining experiences and have an adventurous palate.

A restaurant within a restaurant that is generally booked months in advance. The dining area is located within the larger sister establishment, Café Atlantico.The minibar offers a very personal an intimate dining experience which is as much a magic show as it is a dining experience.

The gastronomic science experiments on menu span a selection of 25 “bites”. Artfully prepared food that is exceptionally crafted and designed to create a singular experience with each bite comprising or representative of a grander dish or a particular “taste” experience.

The ingredients are superb. Many of the unique items are imported from around the world and many are further given a “house” preparation that the any of the three presentation chefs will happily provide additional detail and describe the preparation and unique facts.

Since there are only six seats at the minibar you are guaranteed to get the chef’s undivided attention throughout your meal as you watch each of your plates prepared and presented in unison to all at the bar. It should be noted that plans are in the works for the expansion of the minibar to sixteen seats sometime in the next year or two.

I had my meal paired with the “Harvest” flight of hard cider and lighter white and red wines which were additionally matched with the meal service. The combinations provided a wonderful complement to the dishes. I managed to capture a camera photo of every dish, but one which had an “accident” during its presentation.

I could have gotten a re-plate, but as the apprentice chef who fumbled the dish, a charming young woman here in the US continuing her culinary studies from Spain, was so pleasant and sincere, I saved her the embarrassment.

So, without further ado… the menu.

MUNCHIES

HOT AND COLD PISCO SOUR (the palate cleanser – refreshing)

POPCORN “EMPANADA” (slightly sweet and delicate with a popcorn crunch on the inside)

PEKING WONTON (that’s edible silver foil)

“BAGELS & LOX” (caviar with a creamy crunch)

SEA BEAN TEMPURA (lightly dusted in goodness)

"FERRERO ROCHER” (like the Italian golden candy from which it takes its name, but better – creamy hazelnut goodness with a edible gold foil wrapper)

BLUE CHEESE & ALMOND TART (served on ice cold rocks so that the nitrogen frozen marcona almond shell would hold up – “eat this one quickly” we were warned)

CHICKEN AND EGGS (yes that’s a deliciously fried chicken skin with a carp roe mousse)

“BLOODY MARY” (a delicious perfectly accented and seasoned celery stick – the fresh horseradish gave it a wonderful kick)

STEAMED PITA WITH AVGOTARAHO (a cloud of pita filled with poor man’s caviar and radish)

ZUCCHINI IN TEXTURES (three different layers of delicious zucchini goodness topped with a touch of wonderful spanish olive oil)

“COCO THAI” (fumbled but still tasty - a fluffy ball of thai flavor)

FLAVORS AND TEXTURES

SMOKE OYSTER WITH APPLE (one of the most delicious smoked oysters I’ve ever eaten, Kumamoto oyster served with foam)

“GUACAMOLE” (that would be an avocado “wrapper” around the deconstructed dish)

ORGANIC CARROTS WITH COCONUT (those are actually “encapsulated”, intensely flavored carrot juice - a flavor combination sensation)

NEW “NEW ENGLAND CLAM CHOWDER” (another deconstruction of all of the traditional ingredients - pure yum with crispy bits)

CHARCOAL SALMON WITH BLACK GARLIC (the fermented black garlic was taken a small bite at a time with the salmon and was amazing and slightly sweet)

GIANT HEARTS OF PALM RAVIOLI WITH BONE MARROW (a cloud of boney goodness with two different types of bone marrow preparations)

PARMESAN EGG WITH MIGAS (a “reconstructed” quail yolk egg with a parmesan “white” and garlic chiabata crisp. Wow.)

“PHILLY CHEESESTEAK” (Australian wagyu beef, lightly cooked with a torch, the cheddar cheese was not traditional but I could have eaten about 5 of these)

PRE DESSERT

FROZEN YOUGURT & HONEY (a very nice transition palate cleanser with a touch of walnut powder)

DESSERT

THAI DESSERT (a touch of everything in this dish – the tamarind stood out with a touch of cayenne pepper)

TERRA(MISU)

SWEET SURPRISES

BACON AND CHOCOLATE / “S’MORES”/ MANGO BOX (yes, chocolate covered smoked bacon is YUM!)

8 quarts of Seafood Jambalaya

2010-11-20T17:33:00.001-05:00

Going in the oven.

Cajun Pre-Thanksgiving Party!

Laissez les bon temps rouler!

butternut squash soup with bacon

2010-11-19T01:25:00.003-05:00

Most ordinary squash soup recipes begin by instructing you to simmer the squash in broth until tender, but roasting the squash in a very hot oven concentrates its flavor and sweetness. AND roasting it under a blanket of sliced bacon infuses it with an appealing smoky, savory dimension. After all, bacon makes everything better. Before serving, the crisp bacon is crumbled and scattered onto each bowlful of this rich and comforting cold-weather soup.

The recipe comes from Tom Valenti, the New York City chef considered by some to be one of the grand masters of comfort food and well known for his intensely flavored style. He points out that it’s equally good with other winter squash, such as acorn and Hubbard.

The soup can be held for a few days in the refrigerator or frozen for up to a month.

From: Tom Valenti’s Soups, Stews, and One-Pot Meals

by Tom Valenti and Andrew Freidman

6 pounds butternut squash

6 tablespoons (3/4 stick) unsalted butter

Coarse salt and freshly ground black pepper

8 slices smoked bacon (see note)

2 tablespoons olive oil

1 large Spanish onion, cut into small dice

3 thyme sprigs, plus extra leaves for garnish

1 bay leaf

6 cups chicken broth (plus a bit extra if needed)

2 tablespoons heavy cream (optional; see note)

Sugar, if needed

Extra-virgin olive oil for drizzling

Serves 8 (note that photos show recipe halved)

Preheat oven to 400 degrees.

Cut squash in half lengthwise. Scoop out and discard the seeds. An avocado scoop comes in handy for making short work of this, however a tablespoon will also work just fine.

Place the squash halves cut sides up on a rimmed baking sheet. Divide the butter among the hollowed-out seed cavities and generously season the squash with salt and pepper. Lay 1 or 2 slices of bacon lengthwise along the surface of each half.

Roast, basting a few times by scooping the butter out of the cavity and spooning (or use a basting brush) it over the bacon and squash, until the squash is tender and easily pierced by a sharp knife, 35 to 40 minutes (see notes).

Remove the baking sheet from the oven. Transfer the bacon to a paper towel lined plate to drain. Once cool, mince or crumble into small bits and set aside.

Once the squash halves have cooled slightly, scoop out the flesh with a tablespoon. Discard the skins.

Heat the olive oil in a large heavy pot over medium-high heat until hot but not smoking. Add the onion, season with salt and pepper to taste, and cook, stirring, until softened but not browned, about 5 minutes.

Stir in the thyme sprigs and bay leaf, then add the squash. Cook, stirring to integrate the flavors and keep the squash from scorching, for 1 to 2 minutes.

Add broth to the pot, stirring to incorporate. Be sure to add enough broth to reach desired your desired consistency, remember soup will thicken slightly during cooking and puree. Bring to a boil over high heat. Lower heat and simmer for 15 minutes.

Using tongs or a slotted spoon, fish out and discard the thyme sprigs and bay leaf. Transfer the soup to a food processor. (You can use a regular blender, working in batches.) Add the cream, if using, and process for several minutes until uniformly thick and creamy. Be carful not to over-blend, which will turn the soup thing. If not serving immediately, let cool, cover, and refrigerate for a few days or freeze for up to a month.

Return the soup to the pot and gently reheat. Taste and adjust the seasonings with salt, pepper, and sugar if necessary.

To serve, ladle the soup into bowls and scatter some of the bacon bits over the surface, sprinkle with thyme leaves and drizzle with extra virgin oil and serve at once.

tip

TOM VALENTI suggests using the same technique to make a richly flavored butternut squash puree. follow the recipe for the soup, omit the broth and add 2 tablespoons of cold unsalted butter to the puree as it’s blended in the food processor. (An average blender won’t work for the puree) Season with a few pinches of light brown sugar, a dash of maple syrup, and ground cinnamon, allspice, or nutmeg, according to your taste. Serves 8 as a side dish.

notes from the kitchen

Tom Valenti uses double-smoked slab bacon and slices it himself. you can also use good-quality medium to thick-sliced bacon.
Depending on the season, the squash may take as much as an hour+ to cook to tenderness. The longer the squash has been in storage, the more time it will take to cook.
If the bacon gets crisp before the squash is tender, remove the strips and set aside on paper towels to drain.
There may be a fair amount of fat drippings on the baking sheet after roasting the squash. Discard or save for another use.
The is one instance where and immersion blender is not recommended. Stick with the food processor or regular blender.
Even though the cream is listed as optional, it goes a long way toward pulling together the various flavors.

Reveille

2010-11-11T23:00:00.001-05:00

This is a link to a Google video titled "REVEILL E". It is truly a wonderful and touching tribute to our Nation's veterans. Though you may not agree with the reason for War you should always respect and honor those that are willing to make the ultimate sacrifice. Abraham Lincoln said, 'Any nation that does not honor its heroes will not long endure.'

This story shall the good man teach his son;
And Crispin Crispian shall ne'er go by,
From this day to the ending of the world,
But we in it shall be remembered-
We few, we happy few, we band of brothers;
For he to-day that sheds his blood with me
Shall be my brother; be he ne'er so vile,
This day shall gentle his condition;
And gentlemen in England now-a-bed
Shall think themselves accurs'd they were not here,
And hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks
That fought with us upon Saint Crispin's day.
---Shakespeare's HENRY V

It is rather ironic to note that today also would have been my father's 68th birthday. He was shot down in Vietnam in October 1972 and declared Missing In Action (MIA). His remains were returned by the Vietnamese Government in 1985 and he was buried on November 10th, 1985.

Lest we forget.

Grief Sucks

2010-09-14T15:17:00.003-05:00

I lost my mom a couple of weeks ago.

I ran across this blurb here and it seemed appropriate today. I am working on planning her "Celebration of Life" ceremony this weekend and it is weighing on my mind today...

From Ann Lamott's - Traveling Mercies:

Don't get me wrong: grief sucks; it really does. Unfortunately, though, avoiding it robs us of life, of the now, of a sense of living spirit. Mostly I have tried to avoid it by staying very busy, working too hard, trying to achieve as much as possible. You can often avoid the pain by trying to fix other people; shopping helps in a pinch, as does romantic obsession. Martyrdom can't be beat. While too much exercise works for many people, it doesn't work for me, but I have found that a stack of magazines can be numbing and even mood altering.

But the bad news is that whatever you use to keep the pain at bay robs you of the flecks and nuggets of gold that feeling grief will give you. A fixation can keep you nicely defined and give you the illusion that your life has not fallen apart. But since your life may indeed have fallen apart, the illusion won't hold up forever, and if you are lucky and brave, you will be willing to bear disillusion. You begin to cry and writhe and yell and then to keep on crying; and then, finally, grief ends up giving you the two best things: softness and illumination.

I've still got a bit farther to go in the process of finding "softness and illumination"...

Things That Do Not Need Captions

2010-01-12T18:03:00.002-05:00

Pictures of my beef...

2009-10-22T22:21:00.015-05:00

So, I am having some of my old co-workers over for dinner tomorrow night. It is a planned testosterone evening of men, booze, and libations. Of course the red wine doesn't quite fit with a manly-man theme... but hey we're all getting a bit older and more refined. Well, maybe not much...

On the menu -

Apps:
Steamed Spiced Shrimp
Capresse Salad (I've got some killer balsamic vinegar and a basil infused EVOO)

Main Course:
Cajun Roast Beef studded with Garlic
Herbed Gravy
Vegetable Casserole w/ Portabello mushrooms and parm
Crunchy roasted Yukon Gold Potatoes

Found a killer deal on an 11lb Top Sirloin Roast but when I got home I found that it needed some additional butchering to bring it into shape and since I'm feeling a bit insomniatic tonight I thought I would share my roast prep with the world.

Here's the initial cut it's got a nice fat cap on top.

However, the underside left a lot to be desired.

So, after some quick butchering - I removed 1lb of fat, a couple of strip steaks, and a chunky hunk off of the bottom that I will likely use for a stir-fry.

Now it's looking a bit more like a tidy roast.

Time for the seasonings. I peeled and sliced some garlic into 1/4 slivers, made about 20 incisions with a paring knife in the top of the roast and inserted two slivers into each. Finished the seasoning with a rubbing of garlic and herb basting oil (great stuff from Wegmans!) and a generous dusting of my homemade "Coops" blackening seasoning (still thanking Coop of New Orleans for this magic blend).

Since I want to make sure the roast holds its shape and cooks evenly, I trussed the entire thing with some butchers twine.

Now some time to rest in those seasonings overnight and go into the oven for dinner tomorrow!

To be continued... ??

28 Books

2009-09-16T21:09:00.002-05:00

Have you read more than 6 of these books?

The BBC believes most people will have read only 6 of the 100 books here. How do your reading habits stack up?

Instructions: Copy this into your NOTES. Look at the list and put an 'X' after those you have read. Tag other book nerds. Tag me as well so i can see your responses! Title your post with the number you've read.

***

1 Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen
2 The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien X
3 Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte
4 Harry Potter series - JK Rowling X (not all of them)
5 To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee X
6 The Bible X
7 Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte
8 Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell X
9 His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman
10 Great Expectations - Charles Dickens
11 Little Women - Louisa M Alcott
12 Tess of the D’Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy
13 Catch 22 - Joseph Heller X
14 Complete Works of Shakespeare
15 Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier
16 The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien X
17 Birdsong - Sebastian Faulk
18 Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger X (one of my favorites)
19 The Time Traveler’s Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
20 Middlemarch - George Eliot
21 Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell
22 The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald X (another of my favorites)
23 Bleak House - Charles Dickens
24 War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy
25 The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams X
27 Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky
28 Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck X
29 Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll
30 The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame
31 Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy
32 David Copperfield - Charles Dickens
33 Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis X
34 Emma - Jane Austen
35 Persuasion - Jane Austen
36 The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - CS Lewis X
37 The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini X
38 Captain Corelli’s Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres
39 Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden
40 Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne X
41 Animal Farm - George Orwell X
42 The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown X
43 One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
44 A Prayer for Owen Meaney - John Irving
45 The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins
46 Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery
47 Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy
48 The Handmaid’s Tale - Margaret Atwood X
49 Lord of the Flies - William Golding X (another fav)
50 Atonement - Ian McEwan
51 Life of Pi - Yann Martel X
52 Dune - Frank Herbert X (a couple of times)
53 Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons
54 Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen
55 A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth
56 The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
57 A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens
58 Brave New World - Aldous Huxley X
59 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nighttime - Mark Haddon
60 Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
61 Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck X (had a teacher that read this to the class over the course of the year)
62 Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov
63 The Secret History - Donna Tartt
64 The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold
65 Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas
66 On The Road - Jack Kerouac
67 Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy
68 Bridget Jones’s Diary - Helen Fielding
69 Midnight’s Children - Salman Rushdie
70 Moby Dick - Herman Melville
71 Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens
72 Dracula - Bram Stoker X
73 The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett X
74 Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson
75 Ulysses - James Joyce
76 The Inferno – Dante
77 Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome
78 Germinal - Emile Zola
79 Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray
80 Possession - AS Byatt
81 A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens
82 Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
83 The Color Purple - Alice Walker
84 The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro
85 Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert
86 A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry
87 Charlotte’s Web - EB White
88 The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom
89 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle X
90 The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton
91 Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad
92 The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery X
93 The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks
94 Watership Down - Richard Adams
95 A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole
96 A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute
97 The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas
98 Hamlet - William Shakespeare X
99 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl X
100 Les Miserables - Victor Hugo

***

Only six? Aren't at least six of these required reading in US schools? I wanna know who made the list of books... no Mark Twain or Hemingway? For shame...

100 Truths

2009-01-21T21:42:00.003-05:00

Just because I haven't done one of these time wasters in awhile...

001. Real name – James
002. Nickname(s) - Sheamus, Sully, Slick, Big Brother
003. Status – single
004. Zodiac sign – Aries
005. Male or female – Male
006. Religion - none (with Buddhist leanings)
007. Elementary – Stonewall Jackson (yee-haw)
008. Middle School – Luther Jackson
009. High School – Oakton
010. Hair color – light brown with more and more grey at the temples
011. Eye color - hazel
012. Loud or Quiet - mostly loud, my volume dial goes to 11
013. Sweats or Jeans - yes
014. Phone or Camera - there is CAMERA, then camera phone, and a few in between
015. Health freak - not even close
016. Favorite Physical Quality - eyes?
017. Do you have a crush on someone? I haven't "crushed" on anyone in awhile
018. Eat or Drink - yes
019. Piercing – no
020. Tattoo(s) – yes
021. Water or Fire – water
022. Love of your life or 4 Billion Dollars – I could single-mindedly search for the love of my life with 4 billion dollars
023. First fear – closets in the dark
024. First best friend – Tarik, Wayne, Jon (Found a couple of these guys online recently)
025. First award – some soccer or swimming award maybe?
026. First crush – Angel (also my first real kiss)
027. First pet – Tara and Diablo (doberman pinchers)
028. First big vacation – we lived in Greece for a year when I was 3 or 4
029. First big birthday – don't remember - 30th ;)
030. Brothers - only by social adoption
031. Sisters – younger, Heather
033. Favorite Dessert – good Key Lime Pie or German Chocolate Cake
034. Favorite toy in your house – computer
035. Promise Ring or Chastity Ring? uhm, what?
036. Favorite Season – Spring
037. Favorite Flower(s) – Tulips
038. Favorite Spice – Cayenne or Posh
039. Pancakes or Waffles – pancakes
040. Left- or Right-handed - right
041. Ever been kissed - where?
042. How many relationships have you been in - 2 significant
043. Silver or Gold? silver
044. Checkers or Chess? either, but my attention span suffers with chess
045. Desktop or laptop? yes (if you count work I have 2 desktops and 3 laptops, ugh)
046. Ever been out of the country? yes
047. Where? Germany, Greece, Korea, Guam, Dominican Republic, Mexico, Kuwait, Dubai, UAE, Mexico, Spain
048. Big City or Small town? somewhere in between
049. Favorite Food type - lots, especially spicy like Thai and Cajun
050. Favorite Drink – good red wine or fresh lemonade on a really hot day
051. Dogs or Cats – both
052. I'm about to – answer 50 more questions
053. Listening to – my computer hum
054. Plans for today – it's nighttime - read and then sleep
055. Waiting for – Guffman?
056. Your Height - 5ft 10in
057. Contacts or Glasses - yes, but I never wear the contacts because they bother my eyes
058. Want kids? maybe
059. Want to get married? yes
060. Careers in mind – always looking for new opportunities
061. Rain or Snow - neither
062. Gloves or Mittens - depends usually half-finger gloves
063. Favorite Girl's Name – don't have one
064. Favorite Boy's Name – don't have one
065. Believe in Magic? sometimes
066. Soda, Pop, or Coke? soda
067. Brain or Brawn? - me or others? not too big on "brawny" women
068. Prefer Lips or eyes – eyes
069. Great body or great personality? both, but personality goes a lot farther
070. Do you want to be Shorter or taller? taller
071. Do you want to initiate the relationship or him/her? yes
072. Romantic or spontaneous – yes
073. Nice stomach or nice arms – whatever
074. Sensitive or loud – sensitively loud
075. Hook-up or relationship – relationship... but hey, I AM a guy. I'm just sayin'...
076. Should you be friends first or date first? friends.
077. Trouble maker or hesitant – a little bit of both, usually - troublemaker
078. Chivalry or not? Chivalry, "Dieu et les Dames"
079. Favorite Board Game – Cranium and Trivial Pursuit
080. Lost glasses/contacts – too many to count
081. Ran away from home – no, but I got kicked out a few times
082. Held a gun/knife for defense? yes
083. Killed someone? no, wanted too...
084. Heartbroken – yes
085. Been arrested – yes
086. Done anything illegal - yes
087. Cried when someone died – yes
088. Cried by yourself – yes
089. Laughed til you cried? yes
090. Believe in miracles? – yes
091. Believe in love at first sight? no - lust maybe
092. Heaven – no
093. Santa Claus – no
094. Say 'I Love you' on the first date – no, are you kidding??
095. Kiss on the first date – maybe
096. Hold hands on the first date – possibly
097. Is there one person you want to be with right now – good question, living or dead? Oh wait, does that sound gross?
098. Are you seriously happy with where you are in life – yes, for the most part
099. Do you believe in God? higher power, yes

100. Post as "100 truths" and tag 10 people including who tagged you

I've seen 161 out of 251 films

2008-12-15T16:08:00.004-05:00

SUPPOSEDLY if you've seen over 85 films, you have no life. Mark the ones you've seen. There are 239 films on this list. Copy this completely random, almost modern list, go to your own account, paste this as a note. Then, put x's next to the films you've seen, add them up, change the header adding your number, and click post at the bottom. Have fun.

(x) Rocky Horror Picture Show
(x) Grease
(x) Pirates of the Caribbean
(x) Pirates of the Caribbean 2: Dead Man's Chest
(x) Boondock Saints
(x) Fight Club
() Starsky and Hutch
(x) Neverending Story
(x) Blazing Saddles
(x) Airplane
Total:9

(x) The Princess Bride
() Anchorman
(x) Napoleon Dynamite
(x) Labyrinth
(x) Saw
() Saw II
(x) White Noise
() White Oleander
(x) Anger Management
(x) 50 First Dates
(x) The Princess Diaries
() The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement
Total so far: 15

(x) Scream
() Scream 2
() Scream 3
(x) Scary Movie
(x) Scary Movie 2
() Scary Movie 3
() Scary Movie 4
(x) American Pie
(x) American Pie 2
() American Wedding
() American Pie Band Camp
Total so far: 20

(x) Harry Potter 1
(x) Harry Potter 2
() Harry Potter 3
() Harry Potter 4
(x) Resident Evil 1
(x) Resident Evil 2
(x) The Wedding Singer
() Little Black Book
(x) The Village
() Lilo & Stitch
Total so far: 26

(x) Finding Nemo
(x) Finding Neverland
(x) Signs
(x) The Grinch
(x) Texas Chainsaw Massacre
(x) Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning
() White Chicks
(x) Butterfly Effect
() 13 Going on 30
(x) I, Robot
(x) Robots
Total so far: 35

(x) Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story
() Universal Soldier
(x) Lemony Snicket: A Series Of Unfortunate Events
(x) Along Came Polly
(x) Deep Impact
(x) KingPin
(x) Never Been Kissed
() Meet The Parents
(x) Meet the Fockers
() Eight Crazy Nights
() Joe Dirt
(x) KING KONG (the crappy remake with Jeff Bridges only)
Total so far: 43

(x) A Cinderella Story
(x) The Terminal
() The Lizzie McGuire Movie
() Passport to Paris
(x) Dumb & Dumber
() Dumber & Dumberer
(x) Final Destination
() Final Destination 2
() Final Destination 3
(x) Halloween
(x) The Ring
(x) The Ring 2
() Surviving X-MAS
(x) Flubber
Total so far: 51

(x) Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle
(x) Practical Magic
(x) Chicago
() Ghost Ship
() From Hell
(x) Hellboy
(x) Secret Window
(x) I Am Sam
() The Whole Nine Yards
() The Whole Ten Yards
Total so far: 57

(x) The Day After Tomorrow
(x) Child's Play
() Bride of Chucky
(x) Ten Things I Hate About You
() Just Married
(x) Gothika
(x) Nightmare on Elm Street
(x) Sixteen Candles
() Remember the Titans
() Coach Carter
(x) The Grudge
() The Grudge 2
(x) The Mask
() Son Of The Mask
Total so far: 65

(x) Bad Boys
() Bad Boys 2
() Joy Ride
() Lucky Number Slevin
(x) Ocean's Eleven
(x) Ocean's Twelve
(x) Bourne Identity
(x) Bourne Supremecy
() Lone Star
() Bedazzled
(x) Predator I
() Predator II
(x) The Fog (original only)
(x) Ice Age
(x) Ice Age 2: The Meltdown
() Curious George
Total so far: 74

(x) Independence Day
(x) Cujo
(x) A Bronx Tale
() Darkness Falls
(x) Christine
(x) ET
(x) Children of the Corn
() My Bosses Daughter
() Maid in Manhattan
(x) War of the Worlds
(x) Rush Hour
(x) Rush Hour 2
Total so far: 83

() Best Bet
(x) How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
() She's All That
() Calendar Girls
(x) Sideways
(x) Mars Attacks
(x) Event Horizon
(x) Ever After
(x) Wizard of Oz
(x) Forrest Gump
() Big Trouble in Little China
(x) The Terminator
(x) The Terminator 2
(x) The Terminator 3
Total so far: 93

(x) X-Men
(x) X-2
(x) X-3
(x) Spider-Man
(x) Spider-Man 2
() Sky High
(x) Jeepers Creepers
(x) Jeepers Creepers 2
(x) Catch Me If You Can
(x) The Little Mermaid
(x) Freaky Friday
() Reign of Fire
() The Skulls
() Cruel Intentions
() Cruel Intentions 2
() The Hot Chick
(x) Shrek
(x) Shrek 2
()Shrek 3
Total so far: 105

() Swimfan
(x) Miracle on 34th street
(x) Old School
(x) The Notebook
(x) K-Pax
() Krippendorf's Tribe
() A Walk to Remember
() Ice Castles
(x) Boogeyman
(x) The 40-year-old Virgin
Total so far: 111

(x) Lord of the Rings Fellowship of the Ring
(x) Lord of the Rings The Two Towers
(x) Lord of the Rings Return Of the King
(x) Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark
(x) Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
(x) Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
(x)Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
Total so far: 118

() Baseketball
(x) Hostel
(x) Waiting for Guffman
() House of 1000 Corpses
() Devils Rejects
() Elf
(x) Highlander
() Mothman Prophecies
(x) American History X
() Three
Total so Far: 122

(x) The Jacket
(x) Kung Fu Hustle
(x) Shaolin Soccer
() Night Watch
(x) Monsters Inc.
(x) Titanic
(x) Monty Python and the Holy Grail
(x) Shaun Of the Dead
() Willard
Total so far: 129

() High Tension
() Club Dread
(x) Hulk
(x) Dawn Of the Dead
(x) Hook
(x) Chronicles Of Narnia: The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe
(x) Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian
(x) 28 days later
() Orgazmo
(x) Phantasm
(x) Waterworld
Total so far: 137

(x) Kill Bill vol 1
(x) Kill Bill vol 2
() Mortal Kombat
() Wolf Creek
(x) Kingdom of Heaven
() the Hills Have Eyes
() I Spit on Your Grave aka the Day of the Woman
() The Last House on the Left
(x) Re-Animator
(x) Army of Darkness
Total so far: 142

(x) Star Wars Ep. I The Phantom Menace
(x)Star Wars Ep. II Attack of the Clones
(x) Star Wars Ep. III Revenge of the Sith
(x) Star Wars Ep. IV A New Hope
(x) Star Wars Ep. V The Empire Strikes Back
(x) Star Wars Ep. VI Return of the Jedi
() Ewoks Caravan Of Courage
() Ewoks The Battle For Endor
Total so far: 148

(x) The Matrix
(x) The Matrix Reloaded
(x) The Matrix Revolutions
()Animatrix
(x) Evil Dead
(x) Evil Dead 2
(x) Team America: World Police
(x) Red Dragon
(x) Silence of the Lambs
(x) Hannibal
Total so far: 157

(x) Madagascar
() Madagascar 2: Escape to Africa
(x) Cars
(x) Ratatouille
(x) Wall-E
() Bolt
() Enchanted
() Bridge to Terabithia
() Twilight
() Journey to the Center of the Earth
Total so far: 161

Now Add them up and...

Put "I've seen ... out of 251 films" in the subject line and repost it.

Pictures from Oia - Santorini, Greece

2008-10-28T21:44:00.001-05:00

I finally got done editing a days worth of photos from Greece. Here are some of the shots from Oia.

2008-10-17 Oia - Santorini, Greece
http://www.flickr.com/photos/quitelucid/sets/72157608465756253/

About the set
102 items | 2 views

Oia, Santorini: Oia, pronounced ‘Ia’, is the most famous of all villages of Santorini. It is known throughout the world for its quiet life and fantastic sunset, and is certainly the most beautiful and picturesque village of Santorini.

The village is also situated on top of an impressive cliff and offers a spectacular view over the volcano of Palia and Nea Kameni and the island of Thirassia.
Oia is situated on the north of the island, 11 km away from Fira.

A selection of things from the set

Presidential Debate Drinking Game

2008-09-26T14:35:00.002-05:00

For tonights debate. This comes from an ongoing dialog leading up to a Debate Party tonight. Feel free to add your own suggestions in the comments.

found online:

1. Drink anytime John McCain says the phrase "my friends… " . I suggest shotgunning two glasses of white wine and capping it off with a terrorist fist bump.
2. Drink if the name "Carly Fiorina" is mentioned. Pull out the beer funnel, close your eyes and drink until the election starts to make sense.
3. Drink anytime a candidate LOOKS like they want to use the word 'recession' but instead says 'crisis'. I suggest a full bodied red wine with just a hint of panic.
4. Drink anytime either candidate gives the other a compliment so backhanded, you start looking for a bruise. I'd go with a spiced rum for this one.
5. Anytime you wish Tina Fey was a candidate, down 2 tequila shooters and google her SNL performance.
6. Drink anytime the word "inexperienced" comes up and you suddenly realize candidates need to come up with a new word to throw at each other because you are really tired of hearing that one.Double drinking if you get depressed and/or scared after realizing that you are choosing between two candidates who both have had that word thrown at their campaign and one of them will be leading the country very soon. I suggest doing a keg stand, followed by a cartwheel.
7. If anytime just hearing the name "Governor Palin" makes you want to drink, DRINK. Drink whatever is nearest to you, as long as it's not the stove cleaner. And then carefully re-apply your lipstick.
8. Drink anytime you start to feel that Jim Lehrer sounds like your grandfather. Obviously you are going to have to drink vodka for this. (It's my g-pop's drink of choice. It's the Ukrainian in us).
9. Anytime people start listing off acronyms for Federal departments and you don't know what they stand for- drink your neighbors drink. And realize that you are not alone.
10. If at any point, you find that you are replying to the debate (this includes yelling at the candidates) and are awaiting a rebuttal, slam back a martini. Then congratulate yourself for slamming back a drink that's not often slammed.
11.Drink if you start daydreaming what you would do with $700 billion dollars. Drink homemade moonshine with a chaser of your no-brand soda you bought because it was on sale.
12.If the phrase "I will follow him to the gates of Hell" is used, drink whatever the hell you want. And then have another drink for me.
13. Anytime the media is blamed for everything that is wrong, kick back with a shot of whiskey while clutching your Keith Olbermann 8×11 you printed off just for the occasion.
14. If at anytime you yell 'booyah!' after a particularly good retort, stand up, smack your own ass and pour yourself a gin and tonic.
15. Anytime you realize that you don't care about the debates, you know the issues and you know who you are going to vote for- stop drinking, congratulate yourself and go to bed.

additions:

GENERIC RULES THAT SHOULD APPLY TO ANY DEBATE:
TAKE A SHOT:
-When the buzzwords “change” or “maverick” or “hope” are used
-When someone says “I voted for or against” or “He voted for or against”
-When McCain refers to Obama’s “inexperience”
-When McCain stammers and looks like he might have a heart attack
-When McCain somehow works in his personal story as a POW during Vietnam
-When McCain refers to the moderator as “my friend” or the audience as “my friends”
-When Obama somehow works in his personal story of being raised by a single mom and his grandparents
-When Obama makes a smirk, shakes his head, and says, “Now wait just a minute…” or “hold on there…”
-When Obama makes the case that McCain and Bush are one and the same or uses the phrase “more of the same”
-When Obama talks about “multi-tasking” or having to address more than one crisis at a time as president
-When anyone brings up “suspending the campaign”
-When either one lays claims to being “bipartisan” or working “across the aisle”
-It’s a Social when Sarah Palin is mentioned!
-Finish whatever you are drinking if McCain loses his temper!

ECONOMY SPECIFIC RULES:
TAKE A SHOT:
-When someone mentions the “Bailout” of Wall Street
-When someone mentions Wall Street and Main Street in the same train of thought
-When someone starts quoting dollar figures (for example: 700 billion)
-When someone talks about mortgages/foreclosures/homeowners

FOREIGN POLICY SPECIFIC RULES:
TAKE A SHOT:
-If anyone uses the words “surge” or “victory”
-When anyone mentions a particular nation as being a potential “nuclear” threat
-When McCain talks about Islamic Radicals/Terrorists
-When Georgia and/or Russia are mentioned
-When Iran and/or Iraq are mentioned
-When Afghanistan is mentioned
-It’s a social for al Qaeda or North Korea!
-Finish whatever you are drinking if anyone delivers specifics on how to get out of Iraq “safely and responsibly”.

2008-05-01 Fantasy of Flight - Polk City, FL

2008-09-10T20:58:00.001-05:00

2008-05-01 Fantasy of Flight - Polk City, FL
http://www.flickr.com/photos/quitelucid/sets/72157607060662562/

About the set

The fleet of vintage aircraft displayed at Fantasy of Flight features aircraft whose accomplishments have earned the admiration of knowledgeable aviators and inspired the imagination of those who have always dreamed of soaring above the clouds.

A selection of things from the set

2008-08-30 Sean's Surprise Party

2008-09-03T17:01:00.002-05:00

2008-08-30 Sean's Surprise Party
http://www.flickr.com/photos/quitelucid/sets/72157607080849514/

About the set

Labor Day party in celebration of my "li'l bro's" birthday. Good times...

A selection of things from the set

(By the way, if the set link doesn't work, try copying and pasting it from this email into your browser's address bar.)

2008-05-10 The Cove, VA - Camping

2008-08-31T14:41:00.002-05:00

Ok, so I'm only 4 months behind.

Enjoy!

2008-05-10 The Cove, VA - Camping
http://www.flickr.com/photos/quitelucid/sets/72157607025634962/

About the set

The First Annual Mother's Day Camping Trip at the Cove.

A selection of things from the set

(By the way, if the set link doesn't work, try copying and pasting it from this email into your browser's address bar.)

Flickr is almost certainly the best photo management and sharing application in the world. If you'd like to see what I use it for you can check out my profile page or browse my photostream.

My run for President - News Channel 3 update

2008-08-30T10:26:00.002-05:00

In the news. Update on my independent run for President.

2008-05-31 Hillwood Museum - Diva Series

2008-08-28T22:31:00.002-05:00

2008-05-31 Hillwood Museum - Diva Series
http://www.flickr.com/photos/quitelucid/sets/72157606989894153/

About the set
72 items | 1 view

Hillwood Estate, Museum and Gardens hosts film screenings at sunset. The featured film was "Gentleman Prefer Blondes".

A selection of things from the set

2008-08-23 DC United Tailgating

2008-08-28T22:04:00.005-05:00

So, I am about a year behind in post processing and uploading photos. I am also very behind in posting anything to my blog...

So, may I present, killing two birds with one stone.

Patience pays for those of you that have been pestering me with "Where are all of those damn pictures!" ;)

Many more to come (hopefully) over the upcoming weeks. I've got loads of Vegas pictures, San Antonio, sailing in Annapolis, the Baltimore 3 day birthday bash, and many others...

2008-08-23 DC United Tailgating
http://www.flickr.com/photos/quitelucid/sets/72157606987540457/

About the set
103 items | 2 views

Tailgating for Bridget's Birthday. DC United beats CO Rapids (3-0).

A selection of things from the set

Tricking

2008-02-26T00:36:00.001-05:00

Anis Cheurfa - loop-kicker extraordinaire.

Mercan vs Merkin

2008-01-21T16:03:00.000-05:00

As some of you know I love learning about the etymology of words and phrases. It's another of grouping of those wonderful useless bits of information (UBIs) that clutters my head.

I recently ran across a new term that I had not heard before - "mercan" which is defined by, the be all and end all of online dictionaries, The Urban Dictionary is:

MERCAN:

1. Derogatory term for a citizen of the United States of America. Sometimes spelled mercan.

2. A super patriotic American at least 1/4 Borg, Sith, or Romulan.

3. The people of Merka, an important country on the North Merkan continent.

As I mentioned, I had never heard of this term. HOWEVER, I had heard the term merkIn before and was highly amused by the concept in my teenage years. I think it was actually used in the now defunct comic strip "Bloom Country" where Steve had ordered himself a "chest wig" to improve his manliness. Oh how I miss Bill the Cat and Opus...

So, for your reading pleasure and amusement I have shameless copied a piece from The Straight Dope discussing a full analysis of the term "merkin".

Dear Cecil:

What exactly is a "merkin"? Ever since the word was thrust into my consciousness it's been tormenting me. My Oxford English Dictionary defines it as the "female pudendum," which seems a trifle sedate, given the listed quote of 1714, "This put a strange Whim in his Head; which was, to get the hairy circle of her Merkin ... This he dry'd well and comb'd out, and then return'd to the Cardinal, telling him, he had brought Saint Peter's Beard."

And it's downhill from there. The OED "b" definition says a merkin is a "counterfeit hair for women's privy parts," and another dictionary calls it a "pubic hair wig." Sorry, but these explanations defy understanding. I mean, I've heard of niche markets, but this is ridiculous. My own interest in the word isn't just academic, as I'd like to make use of the fine quote of 1680, "Or wear some stinking Merkin for a Beard," but I want to make damn sure I know what the original item was. --Andrew Scheinman, Los Angeles

Dear Andrew:

Cecil doesn't have the most reputable sources for this kind of thing. In fact, I blush to admit, I have been fishing for tips once
again on the Internet. I do not want to give the impression I spend all my time on the Internet, but in the right hands it is a
wondrous tool, and in the wrong hands it is an even better one. Here's what's turned up so far:
A merkin is somebody who lives in Merika. (Har!)
They used to shave off all the pubic hair as a cure for syphillis, so the well-to-do used wigs.
Before penicillin was around to ease the lives of the promiscuous, these were used to cover up any sores prostitutes may have obtained in the line of duty.
They used to treat the syphilitic with mercury, which caused baldness.
The merkin is for women with no pubic hair. Some people just don't develop hair down there, and this can be embarrassing.
In days of old a common problem was lice. One of the ways people dealt with this was to shave all the hair off their bodies, including arms, legs, and pubes. Wigs became very popular. Pubic wigs caught on slowly, starting among the kinkier set, but eventually became halfway respectable.
A merkin is a crotch wig for both men and women and is usually worn on the outside. Have you ever seen a Scot in full regalia? That little fur "purse" in front is a merkin.
In a country of mainly dark haired people, a prostitute may wear a blond merkin to be unusual and therefore more desirable. (Got this from a dictionary of sex.)
One of the more recent uses is to allow exotic dancers to comply with local laws prohibiting full nudity. They wear what amounts to a flesh-colored panty with hair on the front, appearing to the patrons of the establishment to disrobe completely without actually doing so.
In a sci fi story by John Varley called something like "The Barbie Murders," a group of women gives up individuality (and sex) and undergoes surgery to become perfect nonsexual beings resembling Barbie dolls. This involves losing genitals, pubic hair, etc. One Barbie goes back to being a woman for a night, painting on nipples and using a merkin.

Fascinating, ja? Erudite answers from around the globe, and not one of them duplicates another. Also, one is still left with a nagging question: who's a merkin supposed to fool? By the time you get to the level of intimacy where somebody is going to see whether you have pubic hair or not, your range of observation, as we might say, is such that a wig is not going to make for a very convincing masquerade, strippers possibly excepted. VOICE FROM THE NET: Yeah, but during the period when merkins were popular, the degree of intimacy among the upper class was low even during sex. ME: What's that supposed to mean, you had your valet do it for you? You sent it in by mail? Clearly more investigation needs to be done.

REAL SCOTSMEN CARRY PURSES

Dear Cecil:

Despite what that imbecile on the Internet may have told you, the "fur purse" in front of a Scot's kilt is not a merkin but a sporran. It is simply a pouch and has no sexual significance. --Anonymous

Cecil replies:

Reminds me of a joke.

Q: Why do Scotsmen wear kilts?

A: Because sheep can hear zippers.

KEEP ON MERKIN

Dear Cecil:

The topic of merkins came up a while ago in a mailing list of word fans on the IBM internal network, and a participant told of going to a bar that offered prizes to amateur nude dancers. There were a lot of rules; some made sense (no touching the customers), some didn't (pubic hair required). A woman in the party considered going up, but she shaved herself; however, the management provided merkins. She said they looked like little mustaches. The whole scene was a little too weird for her, so she decided not to dance. --Philip Cohen, White Plains, New York

Cecil replies:

Thanks for sharing, Phil. I'll have you know that Cecil recently conspired to give his good buddy Charlie the architect a merkin for his birthday, something for which, Charlie's girlfriend assured me, Charlie had developed a desperate craving ever since having read about merkins in this column some months ago. Since the local sex-toy shop was fresh out (and yes, we thought of the Merkin-tile Exchange joke, too), we decided to improvise by presenting him with a large industrial mop dyed a tasteful bevy of dayglo colors. The classiest part of the whole production, however, was the instructions. Anne provided the safety tips and owner registration card ("It is imperative that we know how to reach you promptly if we should discover a safety problem that could affect you"); I added hints on operation and use. Sample:

"Confirm that merkin is the proper size before wearing. Use of an improperly sized merkin may result in paralysis or death.

"On first use your merkin may be stiff and difficult to attach properly. Do not be embarrassed to ask for assistance. For best results we recommend that four persons be recruited for this purpose--one to grasp either leg, one to apply the merkin, and one to act as lookout.

"Once the merkin is in place, it should be appropriately lubricated using light sewing machine oil, petroleum jelly, #2 fuel oil, or I Can't Believe It's Not Butter when on sale at Safeway. Do not use so much lubricant that it dribbles in the street. Merkin should not 'squish' when in use.

"Your merkin is highly flammable. Do not use if temperature rises above 73 degrees. If merkin ignites while in use, seek assistance by running into the nearest street and shouting, "I'M ON FIRE GODDAMIT." Do not panic. The number of people who die as a result of burns from a flaming merkin is surprisingly small."

We had it delivered to the office. Unfortunately the firecracker didn't go off. But it was a birthday Charlie won't soon forget.

--CECIL ADAMS

I know a some of the stranger nautical phrase origins - like:
"between the devil and the deep blue sea", "paying the devil" or "the devil to pay", and "cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey".

Anyone else have any interesting word or phrase origins?

Dark mood quotes

2007-12-27T15:11:00.000-05:00

I've been in somewhat of a dark mood lately. I ran across some classic Hemingway quotes that seem to fit. From one of the kings of understatement - I dont' think anyone would mistakenly characterize "Papa" as being an overly cheerful fellow.

"Develop a built-in bullshit detector."

"The world breaks everyone, and afterward, some are strong at the broken places."

"The world breaks everyone and afterward many are strong at the broken places. But those that will not break it kills. It kills the very good and the very gentle and the very brave impartially."

"I love sleep. My life has the tendency to fall apart when I'm awake, you know?"

"What is moral is what you feel good after, and what is immoral is what you feel bad after."

"There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed."

My usual holdiay greeting ...

2007-12-20T20:31:00.000-05:00

Bah humbug... ;)

Happy Holidays!

Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all; Additionally, A fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great, (not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country or is the only "AMERICA" in the western hemisphere), and without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith, choice of computer platform, or sexual preference of the wisher.

(Disclaimer: By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms: This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her/him or others, and is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year, or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher who assumes no responsibility for any unintended emotional stress these greetings may bring to those not caught up in the holiday spirit.)

World's Smallest Political Quiz

2007-12-16T13:08:00.000-05:00

Only 10 Questions -- Interesting...

World's Smallest Political Quiz -- the ORIGINAL Internet political quiz. The Quiz has been taken over 10.2 million times online, and the Washington Post said, "The Quiz has gained respect as a valid measure of a person's political leanings."
See how YOU score!

The RED DOT on the Chart shows where you fit on the political map.

Your PERSONAL issues Score is 70%.
Your ECONOMIC issues Score is 50%.
(Scores falling on the Centrist border are counted as Centrist.)

......................................................................

10,236,432

THAT'S HOW MANY TIMES THE QUIZ
HAS BEEN TAKEN SO FAR.

(Results are renewed after each submission.)

......................................................................

How People Have Scored

(Results are NOT indicative of the general public.)

Centrist 33.59 %

Right (Conservative) 8.88 %

Libertarian 32.71 %

Left (Liberal) 16.92 %

Statist (Big Government) 7.90 %

......................................................................

Other Political Philosophies

Right (Conservative)

Conservatives tend to favor economic freedom, but frequently

support laws to restrict personal behavior that violates "traditional
values." They oppose excessive government control of business,

while endorsing government action to defend morality and the

traditional family structure. Conservatives usually support a strong

military, oppose bureaucracy and high taxes, favor a free-market

economy, and endorse strong law enforcement.

Left (Liberal)

Liberals usually embrace freedom of choice in personal

matters, but tend to support significant government control of the

economy. They generally support a government-funded "safety net"
to help the disadvantaged, and advocate strict regulation

of business. Liberals tend to favor environmental regulations,

defend civil liberties and free expression, support government action

to promote equality, and tolerate diverse lifestyles.

Libertarian

Libertarians support maximum liberty in both personal and

economic matters. They advocate a much smaller government; one
that is limited to protecting individuals from coercion and violence.

Libertarians tend to embrace individual responsibility, oppose

government bureaucracy and taxes, promote private charity, tolerate

diverse lifestyles, support the free market, and defend civil liberties.

Statist (Big Government)
Statists want government to have a great deal of power over the

economy and individual behavior. They frequently doubt whether

economic liberty and individual freedom are practical options in

today's world. Statists tend to distrust the free market, support

high taxes and centralized planning of the economy, oppose

diverse lifestyles, and question the importance of civil liberties.

......................................................................

E A S Y W A Y S T O

Help Support This Project!

The world as 100 people

2007-10-26T22:16:00.000-05:00

Let us not be stopped by that which divides us but look for that which unites us

(Global Manifesto)

If we could reduce the world's population to a village of precisely 100 people, with all existing human ratios remaining the same, the demographics would look something like this:

60 Asians	12 Europeans	5 US Americans and Canadians	8 Latin Americans	14 Africans

49 would be female	51 would be male

82 would be non-white	18 white

89 heterosexual	11 homosexual

33 would be Christian	67 would be non-Christian

5 would control 32% of the entire world's wealth, and all of them would be US citizens
80 would live in substandard housing
24 would not have any electricity (And of the 76% that do have electricity, most would only use it for light at night.)
67 would be unable to read
1 (only one) would have a college education.
50 would be malnourished and 1 dying of starvation
33 would be without access to a safe water supply
1 would have HIV
1 near death
2 would be near birth
7 people would have access to the Internet

If to take a look at the world from this condensed perspective,
the need for acceptance, understanding and education becomes evident.

Think of it!

If you woke up this morning with more health than sickness,
you are luckier than the million that will not survive this week.

If you have never experienced a war,
a loneliness of an imprisonment,
an agony of tortures
or a famine

You are happier, than 500 million persons in this world.

If you are able to go to church, mosque or synagogue without fear of harassment, arrest, torture or death,
you are happier, than 3 billion persons in this world.

If there is a meal in your refrigerator,
if you are dressed and have got shoes,
if you have a bed and a roof above your head,
you are better off, than 75% of people in this world.

If your parents are still alive and still married,
then you are a rarity.

If you have a bank account,
money in your purse
and there is some trifle in your coin box,
you belong to 8% of well-provided people in this world.

If you read this text, you are blessed three times as much, because

Someone has thought of you;
You do not belong to those 2 billion people which cannot read
and... you have had your computer!

Someone once said:

Work like you don't need money,
Love like you've never been hurt,
Dance like nobody's watching,
Sing like nobody's listening,
Be surprised, like you were born yesterday,
Tell the truth and you don't have to remember anything,
Live like it's Heaven on Earth.

This is your World!

And you are able to make changes!

Hasten to do good works!

Think of it!

Woman accused of genital theft... and then the story gets weird...

2007-10-16T23:07:00.000-05:00

and we're talking world-class weird...

http://allafrica.com/stories/200710150130.html

Woman accused of genital theft

Written by Hassan Idris

Saturday, 13 October 2007

In a dramatic twist of sex scandal, a middle aged man who accused his sex partner of stealing his genital has now turned into an accused after the accused lady was forced by the police, on recommendation of a herbalist into another intercourse, in a bid to restore his manhood in Bassan Jiwa, Airport Village, Abuja.

An Abuja-based beer palour owner called Grace Igbian has been accused by her lover Kingsley Ulame of ‘stealing’ his sexual organ. They had been dating for an exteded period of time and they last stayed and slept together for 29 days before he travelled home to see his family in Benin, Edo State. But instead of enjoying his stay with his family, Ulame said he started having problems with his organ. He noticed that he could not have an erection. According to him, his organ stopped functioning and he was frightened that it may result to impotence.

He said at a point, he contemplated committing suicide but later decided to seek spiritual intervention. He consulted a lot of pastors to help him out of the predicament. After that failed, he started searching for orthodox and traditional medicines but there was no solution to what he described as his shrunken manhood.

After his efforts bore no fruit, Ulame said he became suspicious of Igbian whom he had intercourse with before travelling, so he decided to call and intimate her of his predicament. "She responded by saying, it was probably because of stress which I was suffering. She subsequently advised me to relax so that I can be okay. After some time, I was still not feeling better from the orthodox, traditional and spiritual solutions," Ulame said.

Igbian confessed to making love with him for 29 days before he travelled home. She also described Ulame as a caring person. But she denied stealing his manhood and to buttress her ignorance, Igbian swore an oath before Weekly Trust. She said she was innocent of the charges levelled against her.

But Ulame insisted that Igbian had at a point threatened him that he will never regain use of his organ unless he has intercourse with her again.

Ulame returned to Abuja, only to find Igbian had moved out of his room and rented another room in a neighbouring house. "When I came back, she had taken my property to her house and then took all my belongings to her room," he said.

Ulame loudly accused her of stealing his manhood and started demanding for it and called his friends and brothers who pleaded with her to return. He resorted to beating her, eventually wounding her.

Igbian was infuriated by the beating she got from her ex-lover and she walked straight to the police station and reported him.

According to her, the Divisional Police Officer (DPO) of Airport Division, Assistant Superintendent of Police, Peter Thazilza invited a herbalist called Haifa, a Fulani woman who thereafter claimed that Igbian had indeed stolen Ulame’s organ. Subsequently, Igbian said she was forced to have sex with Ulame by the DPO in his office, because they wanted the man to ‘regain his manhood’. In an effort to realise whether she was the person who stole the man’s organ, she said the DPO promised to bring another woman to his office so that Ulame will ‘test’ his organ.

ASP Thazilza confirmed to Weekly Trust that the sex scandal happened in Bassan Jiwa, recently. According to him, one day, he heard a crowd of people shouting and fighting and I found out that some young men were beating Igbian, alleging that she has stolen her boyfriend’s organ. So I decided to intervene," he said.

He further said, "I got to know that Igbian has reported the case to the station and what I wanted to do was to help them resolve the issue amicably." He, however, dismissed the allegation made with Igbian that she was forced to have intercourse to Ulame in the DPO’s office, saying he is "a curator of morality" with community security service and he will never ask somebody to have sex in his office.

"It is true that one woman herbalist was called to the station and she indicted the accused as the person who stole the man’s organ. The herbalist said the accused lady used a mirror to take the man’s organ away from him. However, in the laws of the land there is no provision for witchcraft and mysterious stealing of genitals. If such things happen, we normally forward the matter to the court. But in this case, I settled them out of the station to give peace a chance", he said.

But for Igbian, the allegation of stealing a man’s organ mysteriously has tarnished her image in the community to the extent that she has been threatened with ejection by the landlord of her house and her shop.

Escapa!

2007-10-08T16:24:00.000-05:00

This game will drive you nuts! I played until I beat 18 seconds...

The object of the game is to move the red block around without getting hit by the blue blocks or touching the black walls.

If you can go longer than 18 seconds you are phenomenal.

The US Air Force uses this for fighter pilots. They are expected to go for at least 2 minutes. Give it a try but be careful...it is addictive!!

click below

Click here: Escapa!

Riding Rules (motorcycles)

2007-09-23T11:38:00.000-05:00

Funny yet so true some in a much broader sense... Thanks Mike!

1. Every ride is optional. Every parking is mandatory.

2. If you push the bars left, the bike goes left. If you push the bars right, the bike goes right. That is, unless you continue pushing the bars all the way, in which case the bike will go down.

3. Riding isn't dangerous. Crashing is dangerous.

4. It's always better to be on the sidelines wishing you were on the track than on the track wishing you were on the sidelines.

5. The only time you have too much fuel is when you are on fire.

6. The rear wheel is just a big fan on back of the bike used to keep the rider cool and his butt relaxed. Going into a corner too fast and slamming on the rear brake causes the "fan" to abruptly stop. When this happens you can actually see the rider start sweating and his butt become tense.

7. When in doubt, slow down. No one has ever hit something too slow.

8. A good ride is one from which you can walk away. A great ride is one after which you can use the bike again.

9. Learn from the mistakes of others. You won't live long enough to make all of them yourself.

10. You know you've left the side stand down when all left turn are bat-turns. You know you've left the center stand down when your in 1st gear at 4000 rpm going nowhere.

11. Never let a motorcycle take you somewhere your brain didn't get to three seconds earlier.

12. Always try to keep the number of times you put your side stand down equal to the number of times you put the side stand up.

13. There are two simple rules for riding smoothly and fast in snow and on ice. Unfortunately no one knows what they are.

14. You start with a bag full of luck and an empty bag of experience. The trick is to fill the bag of experience before you empty the bag of luck.

15. If all you can see in your mirrors is sparks and all you can hear is screaming from your passenger, things may not be as they should be...

16. In the ongoing battle between objects made of metal, rubber and fiberglass going 100+ miles per hour and the ground going zero miles per hour, the ground has yet to lose. Same holds for cars, large trucks, and animals taller than you. Draws don't count.

17. Good judgment comes from experience. Unfortunately, the experience usually comes from bad judgment.

18. Keep looking around. There's always something you've missed.

19. Remember, gravity and centrifugal force are not just a good ideas. They are laws and are not subject to appeal.

20. The two most useless things to a rider are the braking distance behind you and nine-tenths of a second ago.

3 Cushion Billiards

2007-08-24T18:09:00.000-05:00

As an amateur pool player... this blew my mind.

Semih Sayginer - Turkish Billiards Sensation

Billiards is quite a different game from "pocket billiards" - or pool. There are no pockets a billiard table. The idea is to try to use the white cue ball to hit the other two. What makes this interesting is that there is one more rule: Your cue ball must hit at least 3 cushions before striking the last ball. That's why this is also sometime called Carom Billiards.

Bad karma - no Dalai for you!

2007-08-20T17:13:00.000-05:00

Ok, this is just sad and pathetic... more in teh realm of absurd news. I wish this WAS from something like The Onion...

China Regulates Buddhist Reincarnation

By Matthew Philips

Newsweek

Aug. 20-27, 2007 issue - In one of history's more absurd acts of totalitarianism, China has banned Buddhist monks in Tibet from reincarnating without government permission. According to a statement issued by the State Administration for Religious Affairs, the law, which goes into effect next month and strictly stipulates the procedures by which one is to reincarnate, is "an important move to institutionalize management of reincarnation." But beyond the irony lies China's true motive: to cut off the influence of the Dalai Lama, Tibet's exiled spiritual and political leader, and to quell the region's Buddhist religious establishment more than 50 years after China invaded the small Himalayan country. By barring any Buddhist monk living outside China from seeking reincarnation, the law effectively gives Chinese authorities the power to choose the next Dalai Lama, whose soul, by tradition, is reborn as a new human to continue the work of relieving suffering.

At 72, the Dalai Lama, who has lived in India since 1959, is beginning to plan his succession, saying that he refuses to be reborn in Tibet so long as it's under Chinese control. Assuming he's able to master the feat of controlling his rebirth, as Dalai Lamas supposedly have for the last 600 years, the situation is shaping up in which there could be two Dalai Lamas: one picked by the Chinese government, the other by Buddhist monks. "It will be a very hot issue," says Paul Harrison, a Buddhism scholar at Stanford. "The Dalai Lama has been the prime symbol of unity and national identity in Tibet, and so it's quite likely the battle for his incarnation will be a lot more important than the others."

So where in the world will the next Dalai Lama be born? Harrison and other Buddhism scholars agree that it will likely be from within the 130,000 Tibetan exiles spread throughout India, Europe and North America. With an estimated 8,000 Tibetans living in the United States, could the next Dalai Lama be American-born? "You'll have to ask him," says Harrison. If so, he'll likely be welcomed into a culture that has increasingly embraced reincarnation over the years. According to a 2005 Gallup poll, 20 percent of all U.S. adults believe in reincarnation. Recent surveys by the Barna Group, a Christian research nonprofit, have found that a quarter of U.S. Christians, including 10 percent of all born-again Christians, embrace it as their favored end-of-life view. A non-Tibetan Dalai Lama, experts say, is probably out of the question.

URL: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/20227400/site/newsweek/

CA to Australia? I think I’ll paddle...

2007-08-14T17:11:00.000-05:00

No kidding...

She rowed from California to Australia - now how amazing is that?

However, that wasn't enough, she is now rowing the Pacific AND she set out two days ago. She updates her website with content via Iridium Sat phone (I actually deal with this same technology at work) - blogging, podcasting, vlogging, and sending text alerts - AS SHE ROW's across the Pacific (she used to work in the info tech field... go figure).

check out her page at www.rozsavage.com

Great excerpt from her site -

"But no matter how hard it got, I always believed that the only thing worse than carrying on would be to quit. I believe that if you don't keep pushing the boundaries, keep expanding your comfort zone, your comfort zone actually gets smaller and smaller, until you're shrink-wrapped in such a tiny comfort zone that you can't move, you can't achieve anything, you can't grow. And so I keep pushing, keep developing, keep evolving. I keep showing what an ordinary person can do when they put their hearts and minds and souls into it."

Thanks to Irish Mike (perhaps that should be THE Irish Mike ;) for the original blog that brought this to my attention ... amazing.

Fast Fingers

2007-08-11T10:51:00.000-05:00

Ok, so I have become slightly addicted to "Guitar Hero II" on the Sony Playstation. As a guitar player it was a natural fit... but I still blame my buddy Nelson for talking me into it! You haven't seen funny until you have a seen a whole group of adults jamming out on small plastic guitars and singing along with the songs. With the new release of "Guitar Hero Encore - Rocks the 80's" it now truly hooking those of us that still retain our odd fascination with 80's music....

So, with this in mind - I have found my idol... and he's gotta be all of about 7 years old. This kid is playing one of the hardest songs on Guitar Hero II in EXPERT mode... check out the finger work of this kid! I think we have found the next Stevie Ray Vaughn or Eddie Vetter. Check out this video...

Jesus! The vanilla man.

2007-08-11T10:49:00.000-05:00

I found an interesting little anagram maker online and was playing around with my full name. I didn't realize that I could make not only Jesus, but also Satan and Messiah out of my name, hmmmmm... yin and yang?

Here were my picks of the bunch...

Jesus! The vanilla man. (ha! My new MySpace name... what do you think? =P "Nobody f's with the Jesus")
An unlavish, lame jest. (indeed)
Jail ham enslaves nut. (that Jail Ham is an evil bastard)
Hell! Natives jam anus. (ouch! I hate it when that happens)
Ah! Nuts! Male javelins. (excuse me - could I have a female javelin please?)
Javelins haunt males. (Yes, I think I have javelin envy)
Hunt alien jam slaves. (slippery little suckers - those alien jam slaves)
Ah! Uneven as still jam. (must be those aliens jam slaves)
Lavish nuts lame Jane. (lame, Jane, lame... do I hear Crying Game music?)

Have your own fun.... http://www.anagramgenius.com/ag.html

Anagram Genius - the "Mindblowingly Extraordinary" computer software

"Delightful Impudence" TIME international

"It's tremendous fun" The Daily Telegraph

"Mindblowingly Extraordinary... Anagram fun simply never stops... Amazing" The Evening Standard

"Utterly irresistible" Personal Computer World

"The pleasure... was nigh-on immeasurable" Wired

"... a well-coded program written with a passion... you'll not only have fun, you could end up hooked." Computer Shopper

Sacramento is a testicle-free zone

2007-07-31T09:48:00.000-05:00

Strange news I run across when I take the day off... The quotes in this are classic. I can't believe that someone would voluntarily call their organization NADS... and of course THEY would have a comment on THIS issue.

fyi - I didn't do my research before re-posting - this article is from a site much like The Onion (which is a hysterical site btw - you can now get paper copies around DC!) - so it is "tongue in cheek".

Whoops! however - note how quick we all were to readily believe it! That says something in and of itself.

Tribute Statue Must Appear "Neutered"
Written by Kevin Clayborne - Staff Writer
Sunday, 22 July 2007

[Sacramento, CA] A marble monument to service dogs, originally set to be displayed in Sacramento, California, may be on its way out of the golden state. The reason? The statue's "manhood" is still intact.

Proponents of the recently-tabled state assembly bill AB-1634, the so-called "California Healthy Pets Act", which would require that most of the state's dogs and cats over the age of 6 months be sterilized, claim that placing the image of an intact male dog on public property is harmful and sends the wrong message to California pet owners.

"Its not an appropriate display, in a state that carries out three million euthanasias a year." said Dan Nender, a 1634 supporter who filed suit in Sacramento Federal Court to have the monument altered.

Pressed about the number, since most reputable sources set that number at 400,000, Nender replied, "One is too many. Concentrate on the point I'm making, not the numbers."

The sculptor who created the piece, Fidel Marquez of Hemingford, Nebraska, has already refused to alter it. "This is ridiculous. I'll put the damn thing on my lawn before I 'neuter' it."

"Frankly, it doesn't matter what the artist wants, or for that matter whether the lawsuit succeeds." responded Nender. "This is the will of the people... and don't ask me which people, and we're going to carry it out. If this guy doesn't want to do the work himself, we'll sneak in there at night and use a Saws-All on it."

"We cannot have intact testicles on government property. As California government officials, at least the ones on our side, will attest to, Sacramento is a testicle-free zone."

Assembly Bill AB-1634 may come before the California legislature some time again in 2008, according to supporters, but in the meantime, they say they will fight the battle their way. "The ends justify the means," said Nender. Even if the means includes vandalism.

California Department of Parks, who oversee this sort of project, did not return our calls immediately, and the Governor could not be reached for comment. However, plans to erect the monument are on hold until the lawsuit is settled or dismissed.

"It's a shame," Karen Billings, planning coordinator for the National Association for Dogs in Service (NADS) told us. "These folks just won't let it go. They're obsessed with dog testicles. That didn't sound right..."

Petition to repeal Bill 3202

2007-07-12T22:41:00.000-05:00

Yet another follow up to my my recent string of automotive blogs... If you live in VA (or just have a passing interest) you may want to read through the information below. Thanks to Sandy and McLovin' who both sent me links to the petition.

As you may have heard, VA recently passed House Bill 3202,
which contains exorbitant "civil remedial fees" for traffic violations
for the purpose of generating revenue, not public safety. Here is a
link to information about the bill:

http://www.thenewspaper.com/news/18/1818.asp

To make matters worse, the bill's sponsor, Del. David Albo (R-42nd
District) is a partner in a law firm that specializes in traffic
cases, so he stands to benefit financially though his actions as a
public official.

Thanks Sabre for this bit:

Albo also sez: "My job is to fight for my people, my people are wealthy." Washington Post, Jan. 1, 2004
Lots of people sez: "Albo must go!"

Please sign the online petition aimed at repealing this bill:

http://www.petitiononline.com/va3202/petition.html

In addition, if you are curious as to who in the VA house and senate voted for this piece of dreck... check the links below.

House vote:
http://leg1.state.va.us/cgi-bin/legp504.exe?071+vot+HV1767+HB3202

Senate vote:
http://leg1.state.va.us/cgi-bin/legp504.exe?071+vot+SV3937HB3202+HB3202

NOTE:
The "civil remedial fees" only apply to residents of VA so there is no need to circulate the petition outside VA.

This section is to generate revenue...

2007-07-11T19:24:00.000-05:00

Ok, I'm in rant mode and I must have pissed off the karma gods. Feel free to skip this now if you prefer my light hearted quips, jokes, and funny videos. This is a follow up to my last post - End of the day...

The day before yesterday, I sent out a forward to a number of friends about the new ridiculous VA legislation to impose additional THOUSANDS of dollars in tax to "moving violations" tickets. "The purpose of the civil remedial fees imposed in this section is to generate revenue," the new law states. (Virginia Code 46.2-206.1). To generate revenue? Hmmmm... Welcome to the "Commonwealth" of Virgina. I will come back to this. I have included the text of the article below for your additional reading pleasure. Here comes the karma...

So, I am departing work and on my way home on one of the lovely stretches of congested roadways around the DC Metro area (I-95) when I saw a VA State Trooper in the far left lane. I did the obligatory "cop check" - speed, check. Under the speed limit since it was rush hour, check. Stickers, check (just got my safety inspection done this month). Wallet, crap... no wallet. Forgot to throw that in my pocket on the way out of the house (I often do this on Monday's for some reason?). Oh well, no reason for me to get pulled over anyway... so no worries, right? I haven't been pulled over in years...

I noticed a "motorist assistance vehicle" on the right so I signaled to pull over one lane to the left so as to give a wide berth for "accidental" opening doors or falling spare tires (safety first, right?). The trooper at this same time "lit up" the overheads and jumped in behind me. Checking on the broken down vehicle? Sure enough.

He moved over another lane to the right and then into the breakdown lane in front of the broken down vehicle and began to slow. However, for some reason, he then jumped back out into my lane and began to accelerate. I had at this point already moved back into the far right lane for my exit.

"He must have decided the situation was under control," I thought, "but why are his lights still on?" I slowed and when he didn't kill the lights I began to pull off onto the shoulder. When he followed I pulled the rest of the way over and came to a stop. "WTF?"

He finally made his way over to the passenger window (remember - rush hour traffic was whizzing by on I-95 on the drivers side) and I rolled the window down as he approached.

"How are you doing today officer?" I asked as he leaned in the window.

"WHAT?" He shouted (Obviously, the question had thrown him off-guard or something). I repeated the question.

"YEAH, well... fine. Um, I pulled you over because I think your windows may be a bit too dark."

"A bit too dark?" I repeated.

"Yeah, I'm going to have to check them." At this point he held up an odd looking contraption with a slot in the top. "Please put your window back up half-way". He instructed. He proceeded to check my tint levels with his "tint-o-meter" and then mumbled to himself, "yep... over."

To cut to the chase... I was cited for "illegal sunshading" (windows are 20% too dark) and "No operators license in possession". I was expecting a "warning" for at least one of these charges... but no. The officer was very helpful in ensuring that I also had a copy of the "Information On Prepayable Offenses" and made sure that I understood that I could "pre-pay" these citations so as to not have to appear in court (so long as I don't wish to contest the charges). He also pointed out the obvious fact that I should "be careful about pulling back into [rush hour] traffic". Now I'm furious.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not really that upset about the tinting laws. Though, it should be noted, only 7 other states have laws as, or more restrictive than, VA for tinting. Federal law mandates that maximum tint levels still allow 20% "visible light transmission" (VLT%) - so you can tint your windows 80% dark according to the Feds. However, state law trumps federal law if it is more restrictive. VA sets the percentage at 50% for driver and passenger windows (considered "light" tint). Some cars are actually manufactured with tint that violate VA state law - these can be "waivered". You can also apply for a "medical waiver" to allow for darker tint. I completely understand not wanting "blacked out" windows. This causes a distinct risk to law enforcement from vehicles that they are not able to make out the movement within or determine if someone in the vehicle has a gun drawn.

I'm not even mad about the fact that I got pulled over. The thing that really "chaps my ass" (one of my favorite expressions) is the fact that the officer opted out of assisting a motorist and "roadside assistance crew" and zeroed in on me for windows that seemed "a bit too dark". I was not: speeding, driving erratically (crap, I was even overly safe by giving the shoulder an extra lane of space), my vehicle is in almost perfect condition, my registration stickers are good for the next two years, and I just had my (required) VA State Safety Inspection done THIS month with a sticker on my windshield good for a year AND, not that it really makes any difference, I have a current Department of Defense sticker on my vehicle. The last point is more to indicate that my pickup truck and I don't come across as some sort of potential "criminal" element that should be investigated - at least not generally ;)

If "tinting" is of such a concern to the police force - then why isn't it tested as part of the annual VA Safety Inspection? I could even understand if the officer had pulled me over for some REAL REASON and then tested my windows as part of a standard police "walk around" inspection of the vehicle. God knows I've had some tickets lumped on to me in the past for being "legitimately" pulled over or stopped.

In the middle of rush hour in the DC Metro area, on a stretch of road that is known as one of the most accident prone (notoriously referred to as the mixing bowl) - choked with speeding, reckless driving, and, rampant "clueless driving" - which I like to refer to as "dumb-ass-ery". I was the biggest "public threat", worthy of State Police intervention? The only thing that I can see as a rationale for my police encounter goes back to my opening remarks about the current legislation in effect - "to generate revenue".

So? If you read this far... Am I over-reacting? Talk among yourselves, I'm feeling a little verklempt! Vent, discuss, I know I have a few international readers, so I am curious as to your views and observations on strange traffic laws.

... and for your further reading pleasure feel free to read the article on Virginia's newest law below... this is a topic for an entirely different blog.

------------------------------------

Virginia Introduces $3550 Speeding Ticket

Virginia legislator introduces new speeding ticket tax that boosts
penalties beyond $3550, driving business to his traffic law firm.

Virginia motorists convicted of minor traffic violations will face a
new, multi-year tax beginning July 1. Led by state Delegate David B.
Albo (R-Springfield), lawmakers slipped a driver responsibility tax into
a larger transportation funding bill signed by Governor Tim Kaine (D) in
April. Albo, a senior partner in the Albo & Oblon, LLP traffic law firm,
can expect to see a significant increase in business as motorists seek
to protect their wallet from traffic tickets that come with assessments
of up to $3000 in addition to an annual point tax that tops out at $700
a year for as long as the points remain.

"The purpose of the civil remedial fees imposed in this section is to
generate revenue," the new law states. (Virginia Code 46.2-206.1)

Driving as little as 15 MPH over the limit on an interstate highway now
brings six license demerit points, a fine of up to $2500, up to one year
in jail, and a new mandatory $1050 tax. The law also imposes an
additional annual fee of up to $100 if a prior conviction leaves the
motorist with a balance of eight demerit points, plus $75 for each
additional point (up to $700 a year). The conviction in this example
remains on the record for five years.

Other six-point convictions include "failing to give a proper signal,"
"passing a school bus" or "driving with an obstructed view." The same
$1050 assessment applies, but the conviction remains on the record for
eleven years.

Although the amount of the tax can add up quickly, the law forbids
judges from reducing or suspending it in any way. The tax applies only
to Virginia residents, so that out-of-state motorists only need to pay
the regular ticket amount. Michigan, New Jersey, New York and Texas also
impose a somewhat more modest driver responsibility tax
which they apply to out-of-state residents.

End of the day...

2007-07-09T20:10:00.000-05:00

NOT a good way to end the day... Notice the VA State Trooper in the rear-view mirror. Two tickets... for tinted windows and not having my license on me. Rant to follow...

Rules of the Road in the Washington D.C. Metro Area

2007-07-04T13:07:00.000-05:00

You must have lived or traveled around the DC Metro Area to truly appreciate this... as a follow up to my obervations about DC drivers in Thoughts on winter...

Thanks Nia for the forward!

>Rules of the Road in the Washington D.C. Metro Area
>
>First, you must learn to call it by its rightful name. It is D.C., or "the
>District". Only tourists call it Washington. Next, if your road map of
>Montgomery County is more than a few weeks old, throw it out and buy a new
>one. It's obsolete. If in Loudoun or Fairfax County and your map is one
>day old, it's already obsolete. There is no such thing as a dangerous
>high-speed chase in D.C. It's just another chase, usually on the BW
>Parkway.
>
>All directions start with "The Beltway"...which has no beginning and no
>end, just one continuous loop that locals believe is somehow clarified by
>an "inner" and 'outer loop' designation. This makes no sense to ANYONE
>outside the Beltway.
>
>The morning rush hour is from 5 to 11 AM. The evening rush hour is from 1
>to 8 PM. Friday's rush hour starts Thursday morning, especially during the
>summer on Route 50 eastbound. If there is a ball game at the Redskins
>stadium, there is no point in driving anywhere near PG County. Tip: Never
>say PG County to anyone from Mitchellville, Upper Marlboro or Fort
>Washington. They'll blow a vessel in their neck and go into a seizure.
>
>If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear-ended and shot
>at. If you run the red light, be sure to smile for the $100 picture you
>will receive courtesy of DMV. (However, if you don't go as soon as the
>light turns green, you will get cussed out in 382 languages, none of them
>English.)
>
>Rain causes an immediate 50 point drop of IQ in drivers. Snow causes an
>immediate 100 point drop in IQ and a rush to the Giant for toilet paper
>and milk. Construction on I-270 is a way of life and a permanent source of
>scorn and cynical entertainment. It's ironic that it's called an
>"Interstate" but runs only from Bethesda to Frederick. (Unless you
>consider Montgomery County another state, which some do). Opening in the
>60's, it has been torn up and under reconstruction ever since. Also, it
>has a "Spur" section which is even more confusing.
>
>All unexplained sights are explained by the phrase, "Oh, we're in Takoma
>Park". If someone actually has their turn signal on, they are by
>definition, a tourist. Car horns are actually "Road Rage" indicators. Heed
>the warning. All old ladies in Buicks have the right of way in the area of
>Leisure World.
>
>If you stop to ask directions in Southeast... well, just don't. A taxi
>ride across town will cost you $12.50. A taxi ride two bloc ks will cost
>you $16.75.(It's a zone thing, you wouldn't understand).
>
>Traveling south out of DC on Interstate 395/95 is the most dangerous,
>scariest thing you will ever do. There is nothing more comforting then
>seven lanes of traffic cruising along at 85 mph, BUMPER TO BUMPER!!! The
>minimum acceptable speed on the Beltway is 85. Anything less is considered
>downright sissy.
>
>The Beltway is our daily version of a NASCAR reality show. Strap up and
>collect points as you go.
>The open lane for passing on all Maryland interstates is the far right
>lane because no self-respecting Marylander would ever be caught driving in
>the "slow" lane. Unofficially, both shoulders are fair game also.
>The far left lanes on all Maryland interstates are official "chat" lanes
>reserved for drivers who wish to talk on their cell phones. Note: All
>mini-vans have priority clearance to use the far left at whatever speed
>the driver feels most comfortable multi-tasking in.
>
>If it's 10 degrees, it's Orioles' opening day. If it's 110 degrees, it's
>the Skins opening day.
>If the humidity is 90+ and the temperature is 90+, then it's May, June,
>July, August and sometimes September.

Daft Hands

2007-07-04T01:08:00.000-05:00

I'm a Daft Punk fan so when this popped up on my MySpace home page I thought I would check it out.... Wait for it (or fast forward to about 3/4's of the way through once you get the gist and watch the end). It gets better and gives new meaning to - flashing some hand signs.

Check out this video: Daft hands - Daft Punk

Add to My Profile | More Videos

The Dramatic Prairie Dog!

2007-06-29T22:22:00.000-05:00

The best five second clip on the internet right now.... ;)

The Dramatic Prairie Dog

and when you get tired of watching this... there are the RE-MAKES...

The James Bond Version

The Pervert

The Dr. Evil Edition

and... The Kill Bill Edition

and then I serviced myself (Part II)

2007-06-11T19:45:00.000-05:00

A couple of weeks ago I wrote an e-mail to the owners of a new small restaurant called the Fireside Grill. The e-mail I posted in a blog titled and then I service myself.

The owner of the restaurant responded to me shortly afterward. For those interested - here was the response and my reply.

------------------
Mr. Daskalakis -

I am glad that you took the time to respond personally. It speaks volumes.

One of the only reasons that I wrote this message is because I thought that your establishment might be privately run and that this letter might make its way to the owner. Believe me, I know the challenges of bringing a restaurant up from a new opening. I just wanted to share my frank and unbiased observations with you personally. I truly hope that they only serve to assist you. I will look towards my next visit with an eye for optimism and hope to meet you then.

Very respectfully,

- Hide quoted text -

On 6/4/07, firesidegrill <firesidegrill@cox.net> wrote:

Mr. JS:

I would like to respond to your letter by saying THANK YOU.

I admit that it was very painful reading your comments. However, it was clear to me that you were trying to help Fireside Grill to succeed. As much as I try and enjoy running a smooth operation, I know that we have staff issues that we actively try to resolve. The ultimate responsibility falls with the managers and owners of Fireside.

Believe me that your letter became a discussion topic that we touched over and over this past weekend. I have no excuses to offer, just a promise: Fireside will evolve into a well run and successful restaurant with many happy guests.

Hopefully I will have the chance to talk to you next time that you visit Fireside Grill.

Thank you again

Kostas Daskalakis

Owner/Manager

and then I serviced myself...

2007-06-02T13:19:00.000-05:00

Now that I've got your attention :)

If there is one thing that drives me crazy these day's (one of many that I can publicly rant about) it is an "other than me" blindness. I have had a long standing belief that all in our society should have a mandatory two year commitment (if not longer) to the work experience of either:
- the military
or
- some form of customer service oriented profession. This could be broad - such as - retail sales, restaurants, or any other profession that requires an "other than you" focus.

Both of these fields require a certain degree of selfless service. They each build character, people skills, time management skills and the ability to deal with stress.

I should note that I wouldn't have spent so much time in writing this message to a large chain of restaurants. However, this place appears to be privately owned and I hope that the message goes directly to one of the proprietors. This place has potential - I hope they can get their acts together. It's not often that I get incensed enough to go into a full blown diatribe on a somewhat (but not really) trivial matter. A few beers helps to lubricate the literal and electronic tongue...

Last night I had a restaurant experience that I think is worth sharing (at least for comment). My comments below show my continuing exasperation with the dying art of customer service. I sent the message below to the Fireside Grill after getting home from a happy hour with co-workers.

---------------------------------
To Whom It May Concern:

First off, let me start by saying, I don't often send these types of messages, but, in this instance, I felt that I must. I must stress a motto that I learned a long time ago - "you never get a second chance at a first impression".

I will qualify what I write here with a little background. Before I started my current career, I spent 12 years working in restaurants. I spent much of the last 4 years of my restaurant career opening restaurants and training staff.

I was at your establishment earlier this evening. My co-workers and staff often attend happy hours in the area and were excited and delighted to find your establishment (which is very close to our office). We were looking forward to trying out a new location and yours seemed to have a nice blend of upscale casual ambiance and a nice menu. When we arrived at the bar there were only two other patrons and our group (a party of six to eight). As we ordered drinks there was quite a bit of confusion as to the tabs.

Rather than asking if we would like to start a tab, the bartender kept presenting various folks in the group with various bills. We finally had to ask if the bar was only "pay as you go" and were able to establish a couple of bar tabs for our party. I thought that this might ease some of the confusion that seemed to ensue around our group but the situation only proceeded to get worse. The following are my observations.

1) Staff needs to SMILE - guests should not feel that they are an inconvenience to the staff in presentation or attitude. Our bartender was downright surly. The only time that she smiled or was courteous was when dealing with staff at the service bar. Additionally, many of the staff throughout the night seemed frazzled and unhappy. I saw a few smiles, but not many.

2) Service bar - though the bartender never had more than about 10 people at the bar, she was constantly "in the weeds". She seemed to be overwhelmed by the amount of service bar requests that were coming in and this occupied all of her attention. At one point a manager came behind the bar to check on service bar drinks. He seemed to thoroughly confuse the bartender by taking over the service bar for the needed drinks rather than asking the bartender what she needed assistance with or checking the status of the bar patrons. If you want to have an ongoing bar crowd, you must take care of those that chose to sit at the bar. Perhaps, on a Friday night it might be wise to bring in a dedicated service bartender or delegate one of the floor mangers to serve as a "swing" bartender in the event that the bartender is swamped. However, in this instance, there was no real reason, or need for this, if the bartender had managed her time more efficiently and been more aware of her guests at the bar.

3) Awareness - One point of service that we constantly hit on in the restaurants that I worked in was - AWARENESS. Staff at your establishment seemed to be single-minded in their tasks. Every staff member (to include management) should take a moment before they move out of their respective area (or any key area of the restaurant) to SURVEY their surroundings and note any items that need attention. It might be pre-busing of tables, clearing of glassware, asking if guests need refills, general cleaning, or looking to see if guests are seeking attention. The server (or manager) might not have the time to attend to these issues but they CAN make a mental note, or at least acknowledge the guest(s) and then ASK for help if needed. Sometimes acknowledgement is all that a guest requires (for the moment) and ASKING for help is part of a team-service environment that every member of the staff should strive for. In restaurants - you either all succeed, or you all fail.

4) Customer Service - We had to ASK for our drinks for the duration of our time there. Not once did the bartender ask if we needed anything or offer us drinks or refills, though at one point, every person in our group was sitting with an empty glass. On a number of occasions we ordered drinks and simply did not get them, or, only got some of them and had to remind the bartender that others were still awaiting drinks. No apology was offered, nor an acknowledgment of the wait. A number of folks in our party had to wait for their checks and repeatedly remind or attempt to flag down the bartender just to close out. When I was finally at the end of my own personal rope, I attempted to order one more beer, I waited for ten to fifteen minutes and never received my drink. Frustrated, I finally asked for my tab - that, I received quickly and without thanks.

5) Check-backs - A number of people in our party ordered food. Not once did the bartender or service staff ask if everything was "all right" or check back on the status of the order to see if the patrons required anything additional. I will say the food was good and we did not have any complaints in this department. However, there was one couple at the end of the bar that obviously needed something and was waiting for the bartender's (or any ones) attention - they never got it. The guest proceeded to complete their meal but was obviously not completely satisfied. This same couple, at one point, requested to have another drink - but with less ice. The bartender proceeded to fill the glass - then ADD more ice on top, make the drink, and return it to the guest.

6) Training - I realize how hard it is to train staff at the inception of a new restaurant but you need to ensure that staff are trained (at least) with the bare essentials. The above plus the following items for consideration - I heard some of the staff fumbling with questions about the menu and ingredients. Let the staff try the food (if nothing else)! Staff are your best advocates for the menu. Our bartender didn't even bother to disclose the specials or "happy hour" items. One of the staff actually asked a member of my party "what they should do" with the martini glass and shaker received from the bar. Many of the items mentioned could be overcome by a "core" training plan or even utilizing "mock" service with staff, or selected patrons by management in closed door sessions or ongoing on-the-job training with experienced staff.

Misc -
-- I would have actually spoken with a manager about all of the above before I left. However, when I departed I could not see a manager in the main dining area. There should always be a manager in sight / available on the floor. Even better if they are near the hostess stand to check with guests as they leave. If nothing else, host staff should be trained to acknowledge guests as they leave and also be trained to ask guests if they enjoyed everything (especially if they can tell that they are unhappy). This is your last opportunity to salvage someone who has had a bad experience - at the door. If a guest leaves unhappy, the chances are they will not come back - and likely they will tell their friends about their bad experience.
-- Train staff to automatically serve your ribs (or other "finger" foods) with extra napkins (or better - a wet napkin).
-- There were no menus at the bar (at least available easily to patrons). There was only one (soiled) Happy Hour Special print-out.
-- No smoking in the restaurant is fine but you need ashtrays or some type of receptacle outside for your patrons that do smoke to deposit their butts.
-- I'm not sure what to make of your sign out front - It lists features / promotions dated for the beginning of May (vs. June - this month). I hope that this is a mistake rather than promotions that actually occurred a month ago. Any one of the staff should have noticed this error and notified someone - Again, awareness.

I expect nothing in return for this message except for the hope that you will take some of this constructive criticism to heart from someone who has a great appreciation for the restaurant and culinary industry. I wish you success in the future, I think that you have a good concept for the area.

V/r,

JS

Whitewater Rafting - New River, WV

2007-06-02T12:46:00.001-05:00

Whitewater Rafting - New River, WV
Originally uploaded by QuiteLucid.

Initial pictures from the trip are up. I'll get the camp shots and waterproof camera shots up soon...

Mother's Day Feast

2007-05-14T11:18:00.001-05:00

Mother's Day Feast
Originally uploaded by QuiteLucid.

Blackened Bone-in Angus Ribeyes with a Shallot Chutney, Grilled Corn on the Cob with Chili and Spring Onion Dressing, Twice-baked Potatoes and a 2001 Honig Cabernet

Awwwwww.....

2007-05-02T07:51:00.000-05:00

Pyrate Invasion 2007

2007-04-28T19:23:00.001-05:00

Pyrate Invasion 2007
Originally uploaded by QuiteLucid.

Fells Point - Baltimore, MD

Lamb Experiment

2007-04-24T19:56:00.001-05:00

Lamb Experiment
Originally uploaded by QuiteLucid.

Lamb chops in Thai Red Curry sauce on a nest of Kanom Jeen rice noodles. Not spicy enough but a good first batch.

Easter Dinner

2007-04-08T16:04:00.001-05:00

Easter Dinner
Originally uploaded by QuiteLucid.

Grilled rack of lamb with a potato basket, asian asparagus stir-fry, and cabernet sauce reduction

to be enjoyed with a 2003 Venta Mazzaron Tempranillo

Yummy! Happy Easter!

Racks of Easter Lamb

2007-04-08T15:07:00.001-05:00

Racks of Easter Lamb
Originally uploaded by QuiteLucid.

Packing My Parachute

2007-03-05T10:51:00.000-05:00

Thanks to those that I don't say "Thank you" to often enough.

-----------------------------------
Charles Plumb was a US Navy jet pilot in Vietnam. After 75 combat missions, his plane was destroyed by a surface-to-air missile. Plumb ejected and parachuted into enemy hands. He was captured and spent 6 years in a communist Vietnamese prison. He survived the ordeal and now lectures on lessons learned from that experience!

One day, when Plumb and his wife were sitting in a restaurant, a man at another table came up and said, "You're Plumb! You flew jet fighters in Vietnam from the aircraft carrier Kitty Hawk. You were shot down!"

"How in the world did you know that?" asked Plumb.

"I packed your parachute," the man replied. Plumb gasped in surprise and gratitude. The man pumped his hand and said, "I guess it worked!" Plumb assured him, "It sure did. If your chute hadn't worked, I wouldn't be here today."

Plumb couldn't sleep that night, thinking about that man. Plumb says, "I kept wondering what he had looked like in a Navy uniform: a white hat; a bib in the back; and bell-bottom trousers. I wonder how many times I might have seen him and not even said 'Good morning, how are you?' or anything because, you see, I was a fighter pilot and he was just a sailor." Plumb thought of the many hours the sailor had spent at a long wooden table in the bowels of the ship, carefully weaving the shrouds and folding the silks of each chute, holding in his hands each time the fate of someone he didn't know.

Now, Plumb asks his audience, "Who's packing your parachute?" Everyone has someone who provides what they need to make it through the day. He also points out that he needed many kinds of parachutes when his plane was shot down over enemy territory -- he needed his physical parachute, his mental parachute, his emotional parachute, and his spiritual parachute. He called on all these supports before reaching safety.

Sometimes in the daily challenges that life gives us, we miss what is really important. We may fail to say hello, please, or thank you, congratulate someone on something wonderful that has happened to them, give a compliment, or just do something nice for no reason. As you go through this week, this month, this year, recognize people who pack your parachutes.

I am sending you this as my way of thanking you for your part in packing my parachute. And I hope you will send it on to those who have helped pack yours!

Sometimes, we wonder why friends keep forwarding jokes to us without writing a word. Maybe this could explain it: When you are very busy, but still want to keep in touch, guess what you do -- you forward jokes. And to let you know that you are still remembered, you are still important, you are still loved, you are still cared for, guess what you get? A forwarded joke.

So my friend, next time when you get a joke, don't think that you've been sent just another forwarded joke, but that you've been thought of today and your friend on the other end of your computer wanted to send you a smile, just helping you pack your parachute.......

Have a great day and stay in touch...

Fight Geek

2007-03-01T23:49:00.000-05:00

This is a great video that I ran across on Photography (ic) Buddha's page. I've always been a bit of a movie fight junkie. I loved goofy kung-fu movies as a kid, view Bruce Lee with a certain reverence, and cheered during some of Yoda's fight scenes in Star Wars. Yes, I'm a bit of a Star Wars geek too

This clip combines a bit of all of the above in a Matrix meets Star Wars sort of way. Low budget but rather impressive choreography.

Oh, and speaking of Star Wars geeks. This blog brought to mind the scene from Clerks II - Star Wars Vs. Lord of the Rings. The scene is not for the easily offended but I got one hell of a belly laugh. ~~ "They're not gay. They're HOBBITS!"

Mom's Wreck

2007-02-14T09:59:00.001-05:00

Mom's Wreck
Originally uploaded by QuiteLucid.

She's ok... Car is not.

Washington Capitals Game - Salute the Military Night

2007-02-08T19:36:00.001-05:00

Washington Capitals Game - Salute the Military Night
Originally uploaded by QuiteLucid.

Begining of the game... Tickets compliments of my company SRA International.

Unfortunately, the Kings are already up by one.

Spotted behind my office

2007-01-23T10:04:00.001-05:00

Spotted behind my office
Originally uploaded by QuiteLucid.

A mushroom? That was not my first thought...

As a follow up to my post yesterday. I'm not sure if this is a comment about winter or about our office. Maybe a combination of the two.... would work in either interpretation of the sculpture. Heh.

Thoughts on winter...

2007-01-22T11:41:00.000-05:00

You must understand that I grew up in warmer climes. With family living scattered along the Carolinas southward over to Texas - I saw snow once while growing up in Florida. So, I don't participate in any winter sports other than - scraping the car, slipping and falling, and, attempting to avoid morons on the roads. Ok, I might throw a snowball or two...

There is something about snow around the Washington DC area that causes the driving portion of the brain to disconnect in many of this areas drivers. Or, even better, are the plethora of SUV drivers in the area that think they don't need to adjust their driving habits during inclement weather because of their vehicles. The best example though is a new trend for folks to slow to a crawl and turn on their hazard lights at the first sign of snow in the air! Who are you warning? I see the snow too but now I have no idea which direction you are trying to go!

To top it all off I'm sick... No, I don't like winter much at all.

What is it?

2007-01-21T22:33:00.000-05:00

.
.
.
.
.
.
.

It is a 5MB hard disk from 1956 ...

In September 1956 IBM launched the 305 RAMAC, the first computer with a hard disk drive (HDD). The HDD weighed over a ton and stored 5MB of data.

Let us start appreciating our 4 GB thumb drives....

The backyard

2007-01-21T13:20:00.001-05:00

The backyard
Originally uploaded by QuiteLucid.

It just started snowing... First snow of the year here in DC.

Canadian Spy Coins?

2007-01-12T12:09:00.000-05:00

WASHINGTON - Money talks, but can it also follow your movements?

NBC Video - http://video.msn.com/v/us/msnbc.htm?g=ce83c0ea-f12a-4e2f-9bb9-63dfa7a46ac7&f=00&fg=copy

CIA via AP

This photo released by the Central Intelligence Agency shows a hollow container, fashioned to look like an Eisenhower silver dollar, which is still used to hide and send messages, or film, without being detected. It is similar to the Canadian coin that was found on some U.S. contractors. Because it resembles ordinary pocket change, it is virtually undetectable as a concealment device.

In a U.S. government warning high on the creepiness scale, the Defense Department cautioned its American contractors over what it described as a new espionage threat: Canadian coins with tiny radio frequency transmitters hidden inside.

The government said the mysterious coins were found planted on U.S. contractors with classified security clearances on at least three separate occasions between October 2005 and January 2006 as the contractors traveled through Canada.

Intelligence and technology experts said such transmitters, if they exist, could be used to surreptitiously track the movements of people carrying the spy coins.

The U.S. report doesn’t suggest who might be tracking American defense contractors or why. It also doesn’t describe how the Pentagon discovered the ruse, how the transmitters might function or even which Canadian currency contained them.

Further details were secret, according to the U.S. Defense Security Service, which issued the warning to the Pentagon’s classified contractors. The government insists the incidents happened, and the risk was genuine.

“What’s in the report is true,” said Martha Deutscher, a spokeswoman for the security service. “This is indeed a sanitized version, which leaves a lot of questions.”

'A lot of mysterious aspects'
Top suspects, according to outside experts: China, Russia or even France — all said to actively run espionage operations inside Canada with enough sophistication to produce such technology.

The Canadian Security Intelligence Service said it knew nothing about the coins.

“This issue has just come to our attention,” CSIS spokeswoman Barbara Campion said. “At this point, we don’t know of any basis for these claims.” She said Canada’s intelligence service works closely with its U.S. counterparts and will seek more information if necessary.

Experts were astonished about the disclosure and the novel tracking technique, but they rejected suggestions Canada’s government might be spying on American contractors. The intelligence services of the two countries are extraordinarily close and routinely share sensitive secrets.

“It would seem unthinkable,” said David Harris, former chief of strategic planning for the Canadian Security Intelligence Service. “I wouldn’t expect to see any offensive operation against the Americans.”

Harris said likely candidates include foreign spies who targeted Americans abroad or businesses engaged in corporate espionage. “There are certainly a lot of mysterious aspects to this,” Harris said.

'Pretty advanced technology'
Experts said such tiny transmitters would almost certainly have limited range to communicate with sensors no more than a few feet away, such as ones hidden inside a doorway. The metal in the coins also could interfere with any signals emitted.

“I’m not aware of any (transmitter) that would fit inside a coin and broadcast for kilometers,” said Katherine Albrecht, an activist who believes such technology carries serious privacy risks. “Whoever did this obviously has access to some pretty advanced technology.”

Experts said hiding tracking technology inside coins is fraught with risks because the spy’s target might inadvertently give away the coin or spend it buying coffee or a newspaper. They agreed, however, that a coin with a hidden tracking device might not arouse suspicion if it were discovered in a pocket or briefcase.

“It wouldn’t seem to be the best place to put something like that; you’d want to put it in something that wouldn’t be left behind or spent,” said Jeff Richelson, a researcher and author of books about the CIA and its gadgets. “It doesn’t seem to make a whole lot of sense.”

Canada’s largest coins include its $2 “Toonie,” which is more than 1-inch across and thick enough to hide a tiny transmitter. The CIA has acknowledged its own spies have used hollow, U.S. silver-dollar coins to hide messages and film.

The government’s 29-page report was filled with other espionage warnings. It described unrelated hacker attacks, eavesdropping with miniature pen recorders and the case of a female foreign spy who seduced her American boyfriend to steal his computer passwords.

In another case, a film processing company called the FBI after it developed pictures for a contractor that contained classified images of U.S. satellites and their blueprints. The photo was taken from an adjoining office window.

Potato Gun Fun

2007-01-06T02:31:00.000-05:00

My buddy Robert having potato fun...

Note - try this at your own risk... robert is a trained professional ;)

American "Buddha Call"

2006-12-30T11:37:00.000-05:00

This is hysterical... wrong, but hysterical. I almost fell out of my chair when I heard this clip.

104.7 KISS FM the "Snake Show" helps a lady get to the bottom of whether or not her husband is cheating on her.

White Christmas Song - Flash Cartoon

2006-12-26T11:38:00.000-05:00

Forgot to repost this yesterday.

Song by The Drifters as sung by Bill Pinkney and used in the movie Home Alone. I get a lot of traffic from folks searching for this video. Enjoy...

http://badaboo.free.fr/merryxmas.swf

You can also listen to this and watch another video of the same song on The Original Drifters Website.

Humping dogs and biting chickens

2006-12-18T18:10:00.000-05:00

For those of you that know me... this will come as no surprise.

For those of you that are geek inclined you can click the link and get your ranking... I got 40%.

---------------------------

A story... when I was in basic training for the Army. One of the DIs called to one of the troops, "Get over here GEEK!". When the PVT reported the DI asked him if he knew what a Geek was. The troop quickly responded, "A carnival employee that bites the heads off of live chickens!"

The SGT looked somewhat dumbfounded and immediately sent the PVT into the command quarters to get a dictionary and look up the definition of the word geek. After reading the definition, "a carnival performer often billed as a wild man whose act usually includes biting the head off a live chicken or snake." The SGT dubbed the soldier "PVT Dictionary" for the remainder of his time in training.

-----------------------

For those on your geek list. I found a funny new gadget, fresh out in Tokyo. The fact that they "fuzz" out the "plug" in this video is a great touch...

Unfortunately, you can't buy this little charmer in the US yet. Pick one up for around 10 bucks the next time you are in Japan.

The (Irish) Story of Christmas:

2006-12-15T19:58:00.000-05:00

The (Irish) Story of Christmas:

Dere's dis boord called Mary, yeah? She's a virgin (wha' de fook is dah?). She's not married or nuttin', but she's got dis felleh, Joe, righ'? He does joinery an' all dah. Mary lives with him in a flah dowwen in Nazareh.

One day Mary meets dis yungfelleh Gabriel. She's like "Wha are yeh bleedin' lookin' ah?" Gabriel just goes "You're fookin' pregnant so yeh are". Mary's scarleh. She gives him a fookin' earful: "Are you bleedin' startin'? I'm no fookin' sluh. I never bin wih no one!"

So Mary goes and sees her cousin Liz, who's six months gone herself. Liz is on a mad buzz, bud. She's filled with spirits, Barcardi Breezers an' all dah.

She sez te Mary "Ah howeyeh, Mary, I can feel me chiseller in me stummick and I reckon I'm well blessed. Think of all deh money we'll be getting from deh social." Mary goes "Yeah, s'pose you're righ' ".

Mary an' Joe haven't goh a fookin' bean so they have to ponse a donkey, an' go dowwen te Behlehem on dah. Dey get to dis boozer an' Mary wants to stop, yeah? To have her yungfelleh an' all dah.

But there's no fookin' no roohem at the inn, righ'? So Mary an' Joe break an' into this garridge, only it's filled wih animals. Cowis an' sheep an' all dah.

Then these three lads tourn up, lookin bleedin' rapih, wih crowens on der heads an' all dah'. They're like "Ah Jaysis, howeyeh!" an' say dey're deh tree wise men from de East Wall.

Joe goes: 'If you're so bleedin wiyis, wha de fook are yizzer doin' wih dis Frankenstein an' myrrh? Why didn't yeh just bring gold, 20 Blue and Boorberry?'

It's all about to kick off when Gabriel turns up again an' sez he's got anudder message bout some Punchis Pilah' hardchaw.

He's like 'Deh coppers is comin an' they're killin all de chisslers. You better fook off to Egypt.' Joe goes 'You must be fookin' off yer bleedin' rocker if yeh tink I'm goin' te fookin' Egypton a fookin' donkey' Gabriel sez 'Suit yerself, bud. But it's your look out if yeh stay.' So they go dowwen teh Egypt till they've stopped killin deh foorst-born an' all an' annyways it's safe an' dah.

Then Joe and Mary and Jeesis go back to Nazareh, an' Jeesis turns water inteh Dutch Gold.

Baby Backfires Talcum Powder

2006-11-25T12:31:00.000-05:00

There are a few things that are universal - I think that fart humor may be one. In keeping with the fart humor theme for Thanksgiving... cute kid.

If you want to see of few more in the same theme check out my other blog posting - Fart Humor

What does a Project Manager do?

2006-11-08T16:14:00.000-05:00

Received a great quote today from a co-worker.

One way to describe PMs is that they not only "pick up and run with the ball, they go find the ball". That really defines the difference between "knowing what to do and doing it", and "not knowing what to do, but using your own wits to decide what to do, then doing it.

Whitewater Rafting - Upper Gualey River, WV

2006-10-24T19:11:00.000-05:00

Here is the video of the Gauley Rafting trip from my trip in September. If you've got a 1/2 hour to kill it is a fun watch.The first five minutes are worth a watch if nothing else as it runs though some great outtakes from many different Upper Gauley outtfitters runs.

Whitewater Rafting - Upper Gualey River, WV
30 min 45 sec - Sep 17, 2006


Featured rapids: Insignificant, Pillow Rock, Hungry Mother, Sweet's Falls. The "Love Boat" theme song starts the footage from 17 September 2006. We were in the lead boat (123) on all of the rapids except for Hungry Mother. What an intense ride!

The Dragon Ate My Motorcycle

2006-10-20T18:38:00.000-05:00

There is an old saying around motorcycle riders - "There are two types of riders - there are those that have fallen and there are those that haven't fallen YET." I just got back from a three day multi-state 600+ mile ride and I'm sad to say I have finally become a statistic and fallen on a bike. However, my lucky Irish charms must have been in effect...

We did three runs on the Dragon over the course of the weekend in addition to riding all over Tennessee and North Carolina. For those of you that don't know, the Tail of the Dragon is the number one motorcycle and sports car enthusiast's destinations in the country. Located at Deals Gap the Tail of the Dragon has 318 curves in 11 miles. The nearby Cherohala Skyway is quickly becoming number two with its remote 60 miles of scenic mountain highway. However, TN overall is a wonderful area for riding twisty scenic mountain roads.

I'm still not really sure what happened on Sunday. We were on the last day of the trip and were doing one last run on the Tail of the Dragon before heading back to drop off my rental bike - a 2005 Harley Davidson Low Rider. Our group was riding formation and I was second to last. Mike and Elaine were in the lead on his BMW K1200, followed by Jim and Jenny on Mike's K75, I was third, and Scottie was riding "sweeper" or tail. We had just started our run on the Dragon and were entering the first major turn, known as Krudd Corner which is a 180 degree curve.

Everything was going well and I was feeling pretty good on the bike as we entered the turn. Then, the next thing I knew, I was bouncing along the ground with my helmet in the dirt and gravel along the shoulder. My head was somewhat turned back over my shoulder and I could see the bike sliding along behind me kicking up dirt with the throttle wide open. "It's gonna hurt if the bike lands on me.", I thought. I finally slid to a stop and the bike did also as the engine finally killed itself - just behind me.

I jumped up and dusted myself off while spewing a few choice four letter words. Two other cruiser riders saw that we were down and immediately stopped to offer assistance. It's interesting to note that a number of folks stopped to see if we were OK and they were all cruiser/touring riders. Not a single one of the sports riders stopped (or even really slowed down). I think that says something about the difference in attitudes of the two groups of riders. This is not meant as a slam on sporty riders - just an observation.

At this point I noticed that Scott had gone down as well. I called over to check on Scott and he, amazingly, hadn't even scratched his bike - he just a little bit of dirt on the pegs. The two cruiser riders helped me get the bike back on two wheels. The bike was looking pretty bad at first glance. The windscreen was trashed, a pretty nasty dent in the tank, front fender was mangled, tail lights were shattered, left saddle bag was scuffed and mashed in (thankfully my camera was in the right bag), and the handlebars were twisted at about a 70 degree angle.

At this point Jim came back. He had managed to find a place to make a quick turn around - he is one hell of a rider. Jim said that he had looked in his side mirror when he was going around the corner and saw the BACK of my bike. "Uh oh, I thought," he told me, "that's NOT good!" That must have been an interesting site to see - he must have thought I had really gotten good to ride the Dragon backwards! :) The two Samaritans and Jim surveyed the damage to the bike and said "Well, I think we may be able to get it back on the road."

Jim and the guys went to work on the bike while I held it up on the shoulder still shaking a bit from the shock. One of the guys had his tool kit in his bike and he brought that over to work on getting the front fender off of the bike since it was smashed into the tire. Mike and Elaine had managed to make it back by this point as well. Mike's got a pretty big BMW - so turning it around had been quite a challenge on the Dragon. Elaine had actually had to help by pushing the bike off of the shoulder. Everyone was worried about injuries but amazingly Scott and I were both OK - other than being a bit shaken up.

Jim and the guys managed to get the front fender off of the bike. We removed the windscreen and then went to work on the handlebars. With three guys bracing the front tire and me twisting the handlebars with all of strength we managed to get the bars almost straight. The forks were amazingly still pretty true although they appeared to be a bit compressed from running off the berm at speed. I think running off the one foot drop on the shoulder is actually what kept me from getting hurt. I think it bucked me away from the bike - if the bike had ended up on top of me or had slid into me I would have been in much worse shape. It would have been really bad if I'd gone down on the following curve since that would have put me down the side of the mountain!

Scott had a bungee net on his bike so we used that and strapped the front fender to the back of the bike. We were trying to figure out how to tie the windscreen down but I realized this was silly since it was in such bad shape - so it was left on the hill by the side of the road (Mike was going to try and make a run back this week and see if it's still there so he can add it to the Tree of Shame). The mom came out in Elaine and she gave me a big hug while yelling at others to stay out of the road. Everyone was still pretty shaken up and now we all realized that I was going to have to finish riding the Dragon if we were going to get home - the only other option was to back-track the many hour ride through North Carolina to get home. "You take the lead when ever you are ready", Mike and Jim said. "Take it as slow as you need to", Jim added.

The bike fired right up on the first try (a testament to the toughness of Harley's) but, getting back on the bike was hard. I really had no desire to ride at that point and was worried about the damage to the bike. I was also not too keen on finishing riding the rest of the Dragon - I was just envisioning me crashing again if the front steering was really bad from the damage. I pulled the bike back up to the edge of the shoulder and shut it down to take some deep breaths and shake off the last of my "shakes". "OK guys," I said, "I think I'm ready to try this."

The ride out of the Dragon was probably one of the slowest in history and I'm sure we had a chain of folks lined up behind us that were wondering what was going on. The Dragon photographers over at www.killboy.com actually got all of our pictures for my "ride of shame". You can check them out by clicking the links here - Me 1, Me 2, Scott 1, Scott 2, Jim and Jenny, Mike and Elaine 1, Mike and Elaine 2. I kept things at around 15 to 20 MPH for the whole ride out and then stopped at the bottom to remove the seat from my butt (pucker factor!) and clear out some residual bugs and dirt that were in my helmet. Jim took the lead at this point and set a nice pace for me to get my bearings on the bike again for the ride home.

I'll have to say - I'm glad that I got back on the bike and rode it out. If I hadn't ridden after the accident, I'm not sure if I would have gotten back on a bike anytime soon. I was VERY lucky to have been able to come away from this without any injuries (other than a nasty bruise on my thigh). As the saying goes - "Any accident you can walk away from is a good one." I'll add that any motorcycle accident that you can RIDE away from is even better. I have a renewed respect for riding safely - not only riding to your abilities and the bikes, but, for the importance of safety gear and a solid bike. On top of all of this is the importance of riding with other experienced riders who are keeping an eye on their fellow mates. Our whole group was back in a flash after my accident. Thanks again to each of you - Mike, Elaine, Jim, Jenny, and Scott (my "man down" buddy). Also, special thanks to the two anonymous riders that stopped and offered so much on the spot assistance in getting me back on the road!

If you would like to see more pictures of the trip I've got a whole set posted on my Flickr site just click this link.

Camping - Priceless

2006-10-20T12:20:00.000-05:00

Erupting Paint

2006-10-19T11:00:00.000-05:00

... this is one damn awesome commercial. Apparently Bravia TV's show some pretty nice colors, and because it is damn near impossible to accurately advertise TVs on TV, why not show the colors with 70,000 liters of paint erupting around some buildings in Glasgow, Scotland? This commercial is fo' reals—no fancy CGI here.

Going Down Town, Oh Yeah

2006-10-17T18:23:00.000-05:00

Going Down Town, Oh Yeah
Originally uploaded by mer-made.

LOL...

The little things...

2006-09-19T18:27:00.000-05:00

The little things...
Originally uploaded by QuiteLucid.

Sometimes you just have to appreciate the little things in life. My departure from work greeted me with this spectacular sunset. It's been a long day.

Pucker Factor

2006-09-18T22:37:00.001-05:00

Yeah, that's me in the front (blue jacket) with the constipated expression on my face. Note the stark contrast between the faces of those on the boat and that of the guide who is actually smoking a cigarette in this picture. I rafted the Lower and Upper Gauley this weekend as part of a package with Rivers Whitewater Resort.

More to come once I can get the video uploaded. Click on the picture for more photos or a larger view.

Irishman down...

2006-09-12T17:44:00.000-05:00

Smoking Kills
Originally uploaded by slayr1999.

This is a good summary of this past Sunday at the Maryland Ren Fest. A good time was had by all. More pictures soon to come on my Flickr photo site...

Baltimore Inner Harbor, MD - Photo Safari

2006-08-29T14:46:00.000-05:00

2006-07-15 Baltimore, MD - Photo Safari - 09
Originally uploaded by QuiteLucid.

I finally got pictures from one of my photo shoots (Baltimore Inner Harbor) up on my website. More to come soon - sailing, Pittsburg, and my cousin's wedding. Click on the picture to go to my photo site.

What's Done is Done

2006-08-25T13:29:00.002-05:00

W hat's done is done. The time and energy you spend
complaining about it will get you nothing but a lot of frustration and negativity.

What's happened has happened. Instead of looking back, fretting and arguing about why or how or who is at fault, look forward and consider all the positive possibilities that are available to you.

If you've been wronged, don't seek revenge. Seek success, seek achievement, seek fulfillment, seek to take what has happened and turn it into a positive force in your life.

Spend your time and energy not in looking back, but in looking ahead. For that is where you can make a difference.

Learn from what has happened, allow it to inspire and
motivate you in a positive way, and then choose to move forward. See the value in the way things are at this moment, and see how you can make full use of that value.

Let go of your attachment to what has already happened. And make room in your life to create the very best that can be.

--Ralph Marston

100%

2006-08-25T11:36:00.000-05:00

This is a strictly mathematical viewpoint...it goes like this:

What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life?

Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:

If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

Then:

H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%

and

K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%

But,

A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

And,

B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%

AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.

A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%

So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that While Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, it's the Bullshit and Ass kissing that will put you over the top.

Aging Badly?

2006-08-23T23:00:00.000-05:00

I found this cool web tool today that will compare a picture of someone to a database of 4,000 celebrities and tell you whom they most resemble. Eager to try out this new toy I uploaded a somewhat dated picture of myself and got the following...

Hahaha... this is fun. I can't believe that this thing thinks that I look like Rudy Guiliani or Pedro Santana Lopez. However, Peter O'Toole ain't a bad person to be compared to... I have to admit I did one other one with a different picture and got Rob Schneider as my number 2 match... ACK! Where the hell did that come from....?

Later in the evening I decided to try this out again with current photo since the one that I used originally is about 3 years old. So, out comes the trusty cam and I get a shot of me in my current glory - tired and in my robe no less (note the bemused expression) :) To this I get the following...

Now, where did I go from teen heart-throb Freddy Prinz Jr. and a young Peter O'Toole to the DALAI LAMA? I'm not sure whether to be honored or offended ;)

Artrópode

2006-08-07T17:19:00.000-05:00

Artrópode
Originally uploaded by marcodede.

George Carlin once said "Watching golf is like watching flies fuck..."

Actually, I think this is more interesting! ;)

For more irreverent fly humor - you are missing out if you haven't seen any of Joe Cartoon's Superfly Series.

"Duuuuuuuuude... I'm so wasted. Check it out."

Boys will be boys...

2006-08-06T11:40:00.000-05:00

You find out interesting things when you have sons, like:

1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.

2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.

3.) A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.

5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a
long way.

6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's already too late.

8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

9.) A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old Man says they can only do it in the movies.

10.) Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4 - year old Boy.

11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.

12.) Super glue is forever.

13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.

14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

15.) VCR's do not eject "PB & J" sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.

16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.

19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.

20.) The fire department in Austin , TX has a 5-minute response time.

21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.

22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.

23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

24.) 80% of Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without kids.

25.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.

Food for thought...

2006-07-31T18:35:00.000-05:00

Global Warming:

Do you need to get a clue? Have to tried Googling for a clue? You might be able to find a clue on Ebay. Or perhaps you could just download a clue...

Reflections of self

2006-07-29T21:04:00.000-05:00

Reflections of self
Originally uploaded by QuiteLucid.

Every man's work, whether it be literature or music or pictures or architecture or anything else, is always a portrait of himself

Samuel Butler

French sniper training

2006-07-29T18:11:00.000-05:00

French sniper training at its finest!??

As one astute observer noted, "you gotta love da Frenchies; only they could come up with a field expedient bench rest that looks like a still shot from "Broke Back Mountain"

Note: This is a valid psychological two-part procedure....first you "moon" your enemy, making him furious and when he stands up to give you the finger you have a MUCH larger target so that even a French sniper can't miss!

These guys are actually British soldiers with a British AI Rifle... but then again that just wouldn't be as funny.... what is even funnier is that the shooter doesn't even have a round chambered in the rifle - so what exactly are they practicing?? ;)

How about this for a caption: (overheard downrange) "No really, there's an ASSHOLE shooting at us.... have a look!"

Money

2006-07-29T17:25:00.000-05:00

Money
Originally uploaded by QuiteLucid.

Happiness is not in the mere possession of money; it lies in the joy of acheievement, in the thrill of creative effort.
Franlin D. Roosevelt

Fun with fd's Flickr Toys

Screwing around with some of my photos today.

Ford Mustang Mach 1

2006-07-28T22:33:00.000-05:00

My buddy Robert's toy...

Length or width?

2006-07-27T21:57:00.000-05:00

Spotted in Fairfax...
Length or width?
Originally uploaded by QuiteLucid.

Pho's vote is in...

Intel breaks into swimwear

2006-07-26T21:52:00.000-05:00

So I ran across this website.... www.ahiida.com that sells "Dynamic Swimwear and Sportswear for todays Muslim female". Really....

I don't mean to poke fun (well... yes I do) - I couldn't help but wonder how many near drownings this outfit causes?? I mean this looks like it would drag you down like a boat anchor. No speed swimming competitions for these ladies I guess. Of course it did remind me of another outfit seen here (Intel's clean room)

Anyone else hear the Intel song....remember the 90's - Blur's "Song 2"?

Self Portrait - Baltimore, MD

2006-07-26T00:14:00.000-05:00

Every man's work, whether it be literature or music or pictures or architecture or anything else, is always a portrait of himself . . . Samuel Butler
View full size picture
Originally uploaded by QuiteLucid.

I have a whole series of pictures from a "photo safari" in Baltimore, MD last week and some great boating pictures from a couple weeks back. However, I just haven't been able to find the time for the work of post-processing the pictures. I just started shooting primarily in RAW format and it's taking me forever to get my pictures tweaked and saved into .jpegs. Any other amateur (or professional) photogs out there have any advice? Yawwwwnnnn....

MySpace Ate My Profile

2006-07-25T21:11:00.000-05:00

This has been a precarious week for my electronic world. First, my photo hosting site, Flickr, goes down. Then my MySpace blog was on the fritz all weekend. Apparently, “Tom” hasn’t been paying the electric bill over there. Maybe Friendster or Yahoo 360 was trying to bring MySpace down. Or maybe it’s just Rupert Murdoch scanning all of our profiles for the next big thing that he should acquire.

Whatever the case, MySpace tried to eat my profile. When the system finally came back up and I was able to reach my page, I was greeted with a “naked” profile. (I’m linking to my friend Jenn’s profile which is pretty “naked”. She only has me as a friend on MySpace - so go and show her some love. Add her as a friend. Tell her she’s been pimped. She’ll find it very amusing; especially when I tell her I linked to her profile on the word “naked”… anyway…). All of my HTML customization, goofy web gadgets, secret code, and asinine comments - vanished. Of course, after my earlier epiphany this week about backing up those things you don’t think about - I didn’t consider my MySpace profile.

So, a couple of quick messages to MySpace support (they were very quick and responsive - BTW). Of course, MySpace customer service told me my missing profile must have been due to some “incorrect HTML” in my profile. Sure - the little known HTML command – "remove all HTML and text". After I explained the “missing” code to another customer service rep in a follow up e-mail my full profile magically “re-appeared” in all of its green goodness (come to think of it - it may be time or a new background and page design). Thank you, MySpace gods of back-up and restore.

So, this got me thinking – how can you save your MySpace profile information? Of course – trying to save just individual “sections” would be tedious. So, if you want to do a quick and easy “backup” of your profile just select \View\Page Source (or whatever variant your particular brand of internet browser requires) and then save the resulting HTML source code to an electronic document somewhere.

You’ll have to pick out the good bits if you ever need to restore - but hey… there’s no time like the present to brush up on or learn some new HTML skills. This trick is also useful if you happen to know a little bit of HTML and are looking at a profile and wondering “how did they do that”??

Of course, if these types of things bore you to tears, you probably would have stopped reading three paragraphs ago. So, the question STILL remains… Have you backed up today?

I wish closet space was as easy an add on as hard-drive space ;)

Cross-posted at blog.myspace.com/quitelucid

Uncyclopedia

2006-07-24T21:18:00.000-05:00

Something I ran across today -- The Uncyclopedia a parody of the oft referenced Wikipedia.

Uncyclopedia is the smallest known collection of encyclopedias within the internet. If you had the foresight to ask this question before, you won't ask it again. And it’s available in pill form.

An excerpt:

Blog

The blog is an important and recently introduced aspect of the much-lauded "Care in the Community" treatment for the mentally-handicapped. Mental patients (from the schizophrenic [1] to the learning-disabled [2] to the just plain weird) are invited to express their fears, suspicions, experiences and cravings by means of one of these occasionally-updated internet logs. The use of blogs as a general source of information and entertainment by a surprising number of Internet-users is therefore discouraged.

The concept of "blogging" (not to be confused with Riverdance) is said to have originated in the Amazonian rainforest, where European explorers observed the native hunter-gatherers communicating by means of high-pitched whining and long-drawn-out musical glossolalia. Although no actual information was ever conveyed by this meaningless prancing, the locals appeared to enjoy the sight and sound of each other's attempts and dancing along with them. The native Amazonians new this practice in their own language as the "Surkull Juirc", but the name never really caught on in European circles.

Reveille

2006-07-20T19:23:00.000-05:00

This is a link to a Google video titled "REVEILLE". It is truly a wonderful and touching tribute to our Nation's veterans. As a fourth generation veteran - this video really touched me. Though you may not agree with the reason for War you should always respect those that are willing to make the ultimate sacrifice. Abraham Lincoln said, 'Any nation that does not honor its heroes will not long endure.'

This story shall the good man teach his son;
And Crispin Crispian shall ne'er go by,
From this day to the ending of the world,
But we in it shall be remembered-
We few, we happy few, we band of brothers;
For he to-day that sheds his blood with me
Shall be my brother; be he ne'er so vile,
This day shall gentle his condition;
And gentlemen in England now-a-bed
Shall think themselves accurs'd they were not here,
And hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks
That fought with us upon Saint Crispin's day.
---Shakespeare's HENRY V

Have you backed up?

2006-07-19T19:09:00.000-05:00

Flickr, the site that I use to host my photos, is down right now due to a data problem. When I first saw this I thought - "oh no, I hope I haven't lost any of my pictures". This then got me thinking “at least I have all of the originals saved on disk”. Of course then I pondered what would happen if my hard drive crashed... most of my photography is not backed up (other than by placing a selection of it online).

The photos represent a selected digital pictographic diary of my life going back five years. I would be devastated if I lost all of those photos - there are a lot of memories and a lot of history tied up in those bits and bytes. Upon checking I discovered there is also a vast amount of hard-drive space being tied up as well.

I'm at close to 20 GB of images - almost 12,000 images in 261 folders. Most are not fit for public consumption (blurry, badly framed, etc) but I've never really been able to bring myself to actually delete photos - unless they are truly wasted shots (like a picture of a lens cover) since each one is a particular moment in time that for some reason or another I decided to capture. I'm something of an electronic pack rat.

The worst thing is that I know better... I built all three of my computers from scratch. I serve as most of my friends and family “go to guy” for computer support. I used to work as a systems engineer. Do you know the percentage of hard-drives that fail? 100%, eventually – it’s all a roll of the dice. So, I write this as I sit and watch my backup program churn. This is going to take awhile... and five DVD's.

So, Thought for the Day - If your hard drive decided to turn into a large paper-weight, would you still have copies of everything that you hold near and dear electronically? Most people think about financials and documents… but what about your photos, music, or even your internet bookmark list? It’s the little things that we remember when it’s too late. So…

Have you backed up?

She Blocked Me

2006-07-12T22:01:00.000-05:00

This is just too funny. If you know what ROTFLMAO means then you will get it...

Quarter Life Crisis

2006-07-12T20:28:00.000-05:00

Update: I received a message from the essay's author and am providing proper credit for her wonderful essay:

Brenda Della Casa (Lola)
Author, Cinderella Was A Liar
www.cinderellawasaliar.com
http://lolaspaghetti.blogspot.com/

I am reposting this from another's blog - I'm not sure of the original author. Although I am *cough* a bit beyond my "quarter life" and not quite to my "mid-life" (at least I hope not)... this is nicely stated and rings true to past experiences and present. It reminded me of one of my favorite adages by Mark Twain:

"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."

They call it the"Quarter-life Crisis"

It is when you stop going along with the crowd and
start realizing that there are many things about
yourself that you didn't know and may not like.
You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be
in a year or two, but then get scared because you
barely know where you are now.

You start realizing that people are selfish and that,
maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close
to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever
met, and the people you have lost
touch with are some of the most important ones.

What you don't recognize is that they are realizing that
too, and aren't really cold, catty, mean or insincere,
but that they are as confused as you.

You look at your job... and it is not even close to
what you thought you would be doing, or maybe you are
looking for a job and realizing that you are going to
have to start at the bottom and that scares you

Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others
are doing and find yourself judging more than usual
because suddenly you realize that you have certain
boundaries in your life and are constantly adding
things to your list of what is acceptable and what isn't.

One minute, you are insecure and then the next, secure.
You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life.
You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly,
change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past
with dear life, but soon realize that the past is drifting
further and further away, and there is nothing to do but
stay where you are or move forward.

You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you
loved could do such damage to you. Or you lie in bed
and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough that
you want to get to know better.

Or maybe you love someone but love someone else too and
cannot figure out why you are doing this because you
know that you aren't a bad person.

One night stands and random hook ups start to look
cheap. Getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look
pathetic. You go through the same emotions and questions over
and over, and talk with your friends about the same topics
because you cannot seem to make a decision.

You worry about loans, money, the future and making a
life for yourself... and while winning the race would
be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender!

What you may not realize is that everyone reading this
relates to it. We are in our best of times and our
worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this
whole thing out.

May you have enough happiness to make you sweet,
enough trials to make you strong,
enough sorrow to keep you human,
enough hope to make you happy.

Sailing - Takes me away...

2006-07-10T20:19:00.000-05:00

2006-07-09 Sailing - Galesville
Originally uploaded by QuiteLucid.

What a wonderful way to end the weekend. Thanks E&J.

Ribbit...

2006-07-07T07:24:00.000-05:00

Memo From Human Resources: Swearing at Work

2006-07-06T11:40:00.000-05:00

After my second day back at work after two weeks off - I needed to remind myself of the following.

Memo From Human Resources: Swearing at Work

Dear Employees:

It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their co-workers.

Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated. We do however, realize the critical importance of being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with co-workers. Therefore, a list of 18 New and Innovative "TRY SAYING" phrases have been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner.

1) TRY SAYING: I think you could use more training.

INSTEAD OF: You don't know what the f___ you're doing.

2) TRY SAYING: She's an aggressive go-getter.

INSTEAD OF: She's a ball-busting b__ch.

3) TRY SAYING: Perhaps I can work late.

INSTEAD OF: And when the f___ do you expect me to do this?

4) TRY SAYING: I'm certain that isn't feasible.

INSTEAD OF: No f______ way.

5) TRY SAYING: Really?

INSTEAD OF: You've got to be sh__ing me!

6) TRY SAYING: Perhaps you should check with...

INSTEAD OF: Tell someone who gives a sh__.

7) TRY SAYING: I wasn't involved in the project.

INSTEAD OF: It's not my f______ problem.

8 ) TRY SAYING: That's interesting.

INSTEAD OF: What the f___?

9) TRY SAYING: I'm not sure this can be implemented.

INSTEAD OF: This sh__ won't work.

10) TRY SAYING: I'll try to schedule that.

INSTEAD OF: Why the f____ didn't you tell me sooner?

11) TRY SAYING: He's not familiar with the issues.

INSTEAD OF: He's got his head up his a__.

12) TRY SAYING: Excuse me, sir?

INSTEAD OF: Eat sh__ and die.

13) TRY SAYING: So you weren't happy with it?

INSTEAD OF: Kiss my a__.

14) TRY SAYING: I'm a bit overloaded at the moment.

INSTEAD OF: F___ it, I'm on salary.

15) TRY SAYING: I don't think you understand.

INSTEAD OF: Shove it up your a__.

16) TRY SAYING: I love a challenge.

INSTEAD OF: This job sucks.

17) TRY SAYING: You want me to take care of that?

INSTEAD OF: Who the h___ died and made you boss?

18 ) TRY SAYING: He's somewhat insensitive.

INSTEAD OF: He's a pr_ck.

Thank You,

Human Resources

My Rig

2006-07-05T22:43:00.000-05:00

My Rig
Originally uploaded by QuiteLucid.

Got new accessories for my camera:

Canon lens adapter
Hoya UV and Circular Polarizing Filters
Canon Lens Flower and Cover
Canon 430EX Flash
Sto-Fen Omni-Bounce for the Canon 430EX Flash
Spare Camera Battery
Portable Rapid Battery Charger
Palm Strap

I'm looking forward to learning the finer points of flash photography. I'm struggling a bit with low light aperture and exposure settings but I've been reading up on flash techniques and features. Stay tuned to my Flickr site for updates on my trials... :)

Now I just need to get out for some evening shooting!